As we prepared for our departure for Ukraine, it was very hard to even think about leaving our young children at home! We have worked so hard for the past 5 months to get where we are and knew that we would need to leave.....BUT now that it had approached, it was becoming harder and harder! I blogged some about Jonah and how he had been crying. The crying turned in to being kinda angry with us. Honestly I wanted to anger to be there instead of crying so I didn't feel so angry. And I know we all have our different ways of dealing with this, none of which are the right/wrong answer, just coping the best way we can! I messaged my wonderful friend and mentor Rachel, who at the very moment, her children and husband are about to fly home from Ukraine. I asked her if this was normal and asked her to pray, because she had to leave her 3 small children too when she traveled to Ukraine. She assured me it is, but there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty. I am obeying my Father, just as my children obey their mother and father. Hello, light bulb moment, lol! It hit me, it's not like I am leaving them going on a 5 week vacation, I am going to obey what God has called me to do! Thank you Father for this sweet revelation!
Which leads to my next moment of realization! The Bible says to have no other Gods or idols before me. Do you realize that ANYTHING in our life can become an idol?? TV, computer, our husband, our children, having to have a perfect house, having perfectly behaved children, money, and the list goes on and on. Anything that is more important in your life than God is an idol. Most people don't realize these idols, b/c they still pray and spend time with the Father, but these "idols" get more of their attention. Now some of these seem weird, right? And how do I know?? Because at one time, I put Jarrod, my wonderful husband, on this big pedestal, and was seeking after his love and affection more than the Father. That was a hard time for me, b/c I felt like I loved Jarrod more than he loved me, and it was a bit of a struggle in our marriage, at least in my eyes. When I cried out to the Father, He showed me that my priorities were all wrong in my life. It is to be God, my husband, my children, , church, other family, friends, work, etc, etc, etc. (Now every one's priorities will be different depending on what God has shown them, but one thing that will be consistent in ALL Christians lives is that Christ is to be first!) Now when I came to realize what I had done in our marriage, and had put Jarrod as more important than Christ, then I repented, and went chasing after the Father! And guess what, all those feelings of me wanting Jarrod more than he wants me, and those struggles were washed away by the blood, b/c I had no other idols before the Father!
I've had moments where facebook has been an idol, treasuring to read what others have to say about me and to me, more than the things the Father wants to say to me! When preparing for this trip, and the difficulty it is taking to leave my children......the Lord showed me that my children were a bit of idols for me. As a mom of small children, your time with the Father can be limited and quite interrupted if not planned right. Now, the beautiful thing, is there is no condemnation in Christ. We have to be intentional in our walks with the Father, and plan that time, instead of all our time focused on our children. The Father is gracious to forgive us of those times we put other things ahead of Him, and He gives us grace to make those changes! Now if you know me, I would do anything for my children, including lay down my life for them! They were formed in my womb and are a combination of both Jarrod and I! While we are by far NOT perfect parents, our children are our heart! So leaving them, I felt like I was abandoning them, and this is such an uneasy feeling. (I also have realized the enemy's desire to interrupt my duty that God has called us to!). As we were preparing to leave, the Father said we have to lay down all other things before Him to be obedient to what He has commissioned us to, and this includes laying down being with our children for a few weeks! Wow, I count it an honor to be a part of Him changing the world, and not just things in "my little world". This was a sweet and hard revelation. I realize that my children had taken first seat to many things in my life, including at times God. While this will not be an easy 5 weeks, I'm excited about the reconnection I will have with my Father, and how being obedient to Him will shake the universe!! I am also excited about what the Father is doing in my children, realizing that there is sacrifice for love, and they will have a greater concept of this than many other children!
On Saturday, we did running around with the children and staying busy, it was fun and tiring!! I hate packing, and I really mean HATE!! It's hard to know exactly what you will want to wear and take, etc, etc, etc, and honestly 5 weeks is a super long time! I'm a simple stay at home mom, which a limited wardrobe, so here's to hoping I'm dressed okay, lol!! Back to Saturday.......the children have a little pool on the back porch, in which they always want us to come swim. We never want to, b/c it's so cold from getting no sun! That weekend it was a scorching 105 degrees, if not hotter! So we decided why not have some fun with them? Jarrod and I both jumped in the pool, and we had the most amazing family time ever! It almost brought me to tears, just watching our family play and have fun, and realizing just how different our lives will be in a few short weeks. God knew we needed that, we needed that extra time together, and He granted it in a sweet and joyful way!!
Sunday, we prepared for it to be a "hard" day as we said goodbye to church family, to mom, to other friends, and it would be our "last" tuck in at bedtime for a while! Church was amazing, and I found myself weeping during most of worship. When I first started crying, I slipped out and went to the restroom, where I'm being honest, I wanted to stay the whole time. I don't like others to see me cry, and I wanted to keep it together for my children. So I prayed and the Father told me it's okay to cry, and for others to see me this way. I am His child, and my tears are just an expression of the many emotions I feel (happiness, sadness, the unknown, blessings, etc, etc, etc). So I went back where I needed to be in worship, and did just that, had time with my Father in sweet surrender to what He's called us to in our life right now! I cried the whole time pretty much, and my sweet Hannah and Jonah wanted me to hold them and kept asking why I was crying? All I could tell them is that "I love God, and I love them". I didn't want to add to their anxieties and sadness even more, I'm there to protect them! Our sweet church family prayed over us and sent us off. It was a bittersweet thing, as I am now in a country where I only know one other person here that speaks my language! (I'm sure there are more, but she's all I currently know!) Following church, we headed to mom and dad's for lunch and to say our goodbyes! Dad made us all cry during the lunch prayer, as we are all learning to deal with this in a different way, and lately crying seems to be one of them! But please understand, all our tears aren't bad, they are tears of joyfulness, knowing that the Father is doing something in all of our lives, and He is blessings us so much we are overjoyed! We enjoyed time with them, and we all did great leaving, including mom! I think her and I both kept it together, all though I know we've both had those moments of crying! I will miss her more than she realizes! I love calling her while she's headed home from work, that's my phone call I look forward to in the afternoons, and it helps her get through traffic, lol!! But we will survive this little time away!
Sunday night we picked up a quick dinner, and wanted to have some time together! We decided to let the kids stay up late and we snuggled and watched Soul Surfer. It so nice to be reminded that we all have different paths that the Lord has called us to, and none of them were promised to be easy! The snuggles were great, and we all had a wonderful time following the movie in talking and prayer.....and being tucked in! Jarrod and I stayed up and finished getting our bags together, well, let me re-phrase that......I needed to finish getting my bag together, lol!! Every night right before I go to bed, I go check over the children one last time and pray over them. Well that night, it was much harder, and not only did I, but Jarrod did. We did so separately, passing each other in the hall, switching rooms, lol!! I'm sure we both cried doing this, then we went and sat on our bed, and we both just cried together. This part is so much harder than we thought it would be. We prayed together, and decided we need to get some sleep.
I woke up Monday morning early, followed by a couple of wonderful boys! We went and grabbed a special treat for breakfast "Dunkin Donuts", oh my which is sounding really good about now, lol! We had breakfast all together, and just reassured them of how much we love them, and how much we'll be able to talk to them, and see them, etc, etc, etc!! About 9:30 my wonderful friend, Lori, and her 4 children arrived! We knew this would be good for them to be busy and distracted as we get ready to leave! The moment her kids walked in the door, our kids were ready to swim and play! We talked a bit to Lori, then prepared to leave! We took a pic, and the kids were off in the pool. We were like wait, we need big hugs. So we got our hugs and kisses, and our kids were completely fine! Lori gave me in a hug, in which I lost it followed by Jarrod. We went outside to talk with her a bit, and we hoped the kids didn't see us. We cried for a good bit, and I have to be honest, that was the hardest thing I think I've ever done in my life!
We picked up dad at work, and he dropped us at the airport! We said goodbye, and so started the busyness!! I'll be honest, I had my anxieties a little about traveling, b/c the one and only flight I've ever been on has been to Boston (a 2 hr flight) and that was 8 years ago! Now, here we were going to another country, changing planes 3 times, and spending a little over 12 hours in a plane (which was better than the 18.5 I originally thought!). How in the world was I going to deal? Well, I did just fine! We changed planes with no problems, and very little delay. We flew from Atlanta, GA to Newark, NJ, from Newark, NJ to Frankfurt, Germany, and from Frankfurt, Germany to Kiev, Ukraine! We only had 2 hour delays at each airport, which meant we get off one plane, go check in, go through security, and wait about 30 min before our next flight! That 2 hours seemed to be a good amount of time! Praise the Lord I had no problems flying, even being stuck in the middle aisle, us squeezed in between 2 men for an 8 hour flight! I was really hoping for sleep, but it wasn't there!!
Another sweet moment while I was flying and praying! The Lord reminded me of how many WONDERFUL friends, and family we have loving on our children while we are gone. We have mom and dad who will be with them almost everyday, we have our wonderful friends: Lori, Kelley, Chelsea, Ryan, and Linda! There will be others that we will be filling in, but these are the ones on the regular schedule, so please in your praying, lift them up! We wouldn't be going without knowing that our children are in good hands! So it dawned on me what we are doing here! God has called us to go get our sweet Yulia, to love on her during this time alone with her. We will get to connect with her and show her a love that I don't know she's ever experienced. How cool is that?? But the beautiful thing.....while I'm gone, it's not like my children are sitting around just crying. They are being loved on and having fun with friends and family that they KNOW and love!! It was such a sweet thing to realize I'm not just leaving them, God has ALL of us covered, even being countries apart!!
As we arrived in Kiev, there was crazy traffic getting to our apartment, made us feel completely at home, lol! We saw our friend Scott, and his two children Tanya and Viktor, walking on the street! We were hoping for dinner with them, since they are right now at the airport heading back home to Alabama! They are on the final leg of their journey, bringing their children home! So they welcomed us, came over, helped us unload, filled us in on some tips, then let us rest a little! So we got a little rest and got dressed to head for dinner! My beautiful friend Natasha arrived, a woman I have grown to love! We met Natasha back at Christmas in America, and she has held our hand every step of the way in this journey. She is not only our facilitator and translator, she's our friend who I am looking forward to spending time with!! So we all headed to a great pizza place for dinner, then said our goodbye's!!
We were able to finish our evening skyping with our children, which was great! They were with Kelley, and we prepped her that it might be hard! Noah was so busy playing, he just popped in for a moment to say hi, Hannah was all giggly and smiling, and Jonah said a few things, then just watched! He looked a bit sad, but Kelley messaged afterwards to assure me that he perked right up after we finished! We knew he had a hard time at bedtime, so we weren't sure how he would do!
So here we are, this will be our first full day in Ukraine, it's 5:36 am. I'm sure I didn't get enough sleep, and I'm watching my sweet hubby get his rest, but I'm ready to get this journey started! Today is independence day, which isn't celebrated here in Ukraine, but Jarrod and I very much do in our hearts celebrate our freedom! We will make a day of sight seeing and walking and taking in the history of Ukraine! I'm very excited about this! We haven't yet seen our sweet Yulia! :( She's been at camp, and we haven't talked to her in 2 weeks, so that's been hard! Thank goodness for Tanya, because she was able to get her on the phone yesterday and we were able to talk to her!! She's ready for us, and we'll get to see her next week!
The first pic of our family right before we left for Ukraine! My children are such a blessing, and sweet Yulia is included in that blessing.....and soon she'll be in all our pics too!! The bottom is our friend Scott and his son Viktor! Please join us in praying for the Lawry family as they will be reunited as one big family on July 4! How appropriate, Independence Day!! God Bless you all!!
Thankyou so much for sharing updates, I love reading them!
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog entry! So proud of you!
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies!! God is so good!!
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