An evening walk!!

Good evening friends!! I've been patiently waiting, and doing housework, while my wonderful hubby was blogging!! I've had things on my heart for the past couple of days, and many of it is random! Some of it, I can't really remember now, but that's okay! God knows what I need to write when I blog, and that's what I am going for!!

I just finished reading Jarrod's blog, and if you are interested in reading, it's changingcharacter.blogspot.com . It's so beautiful to see how through our adoption journey that God is working on both our hearts!! We are walking through this together and the Lord is growing our faith in a whole new way, and He's doing it in different and personal ways!! To me this is a beautiful thing!! When Jarrod and I married, we became one! We were united in Christ, and we remain that way! He is my best friend, my rock, and my protector. He guides our family, and is a wonderful husband and father. Our marriage on earth is to reflect the marriage of Jesus and His bride. I feel that's our marriage, while not perfect, we try to walk in the unity God created marriage to be!! That being said, that while we are one, we are also still individual, needing that communion and intimacy with the Father!! So, go check out Jarrod blog to see what God is showing Him and the beautiful revelation of a Father's love and guidance!!

Tonight I got to go on a walk before the storms passed through (although they didn't last very long, lol!!). I love to take music and listen while walking and two songs really spoke to my heart tonight, and I must share them and their words!! But first, let me tell you about the sky, it was absolutely gorgeous!! Coming over the top of my house, several miles to the south, I could see the dark clouds rolling in. As they started coming closer, they looked like mountains, they were gorgeous and very dark!! The Lord reminded me that He is moving mountains to make this adoption possible!! I decided to chance another lap, although the clouds were moving pretty fast! As I got halfway around, I realized that I was about to be in the middle of the storm, so I started running! I ran a good bit, then walked. I slowed down a bit, watching the sky. I was about to be in a BIG storm, yet I felt at peace that I would be fine!! Again, it was the Lord speaking to me that although storms may come my way, He's my fortress and my refuge, He's my protector! When I stepped in my yard, I felt the first drop of rain! How amazing that He kept me from being caught in the middle of the storm! My Father loves me more than I realize sometimes!!

So one of the songs that I was listening to was Jacob Ferrell's "Rooted and Grounded", which is one that I really love!! I've invisioned a dance for this, but as with many songs, haven't followed through with completing choreographing, much less presenting for the Father's glory!! Here are the words and can I just say, they really ministered to me tonight, as they have many other times!! "Will I be offended, will I walk away, will I trust You, believing what You say......cause I don't want just a language, I don't need more words, You seem out of reach, but I know You are good.......And my ache won't go away, but I'm too scared to move, would You give me the grace, to get lost in Your love.....I want to be rooted and grounded in love, I want to be found abiding in You, I want to be rooted and grounded in love, I want to be found abiding in You.......There is no turning back, I have come too far, I have no other choice, I've got to love You more". As I listened to these words, I realize the new level of love the Lord has shown me. I want to be rooted and grounded in love, and I'll be honest, that's not always the case. I want my roots to go farther and farther, and love the way He created me to love!! The part that says "there is no turning back, I've come to far, I have no other choice, I've got to love You more" is just a beautiful thing! I'll be honest, when my walk with the Lord wasn't as strong, my life was attacked a lot less by the enemy. I wasn't a threat to him. But now, the devil fears me more than he ever thought he would, and it's because of my love for the Father, and the strength that I find in Him!! So praise the Lord for a continuation of this revelation of His love and reminders that we are to be rooted and grounded in love!!

The other song is by Cory Asbury "So Good to Me", and it's such a fun song!! The first time I heard this song was a beautiful wedding of an amazing couple, Mark and Margie Howell!! The two of them are an amazing testimony of faith and waiting on the Lord, and well I could go on and on! So thank you Howell's for introducing me to this song!! Here are the words "I waited patiently upon the Lord, and He inclined and heard my cry, He pulled me up out of the miry clay, He set my feet upon the rock, He gave me beauty for ashes, and joy for my mourning, and praise for heaviness, He put a new song in my mouth, and a crown upon my head, and He gave me life forever more....He's been so good, so so good to me, He's been so go, so so good to me, Jesus........He picked me up and turned me around, and He placed my feet on solid ground, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.......now I've got love, joy, peace and righteousness in the Holy Spirit, ooh ooh ooh oooh yeah". Is this not a beautiful song, I encourage you, listening to the song is even better, so go check it out!! God has been so good to me, and I am so thankful that He is EVERYTHING this song talks about so much more!! He's given me love, joy, peace and righteousness!! Right now, the peace part speaks the most to me!! I've been praying for peace as we get ready to enter a new phase in our lives, and He is giving me that because He is faithful!!

As you know, this adoption journey has been a rollercoaster of emotions!! We have raised $12,500 so far, and still have about $13,000 left to go! Jarrod's parents were over here the other day, and dad reminded us that when we started out we had NOTHING!! God has brought us this far, and I know He won't leave us nor forsake us now!! We are about 3-4 weeks away from traveling, although we haven't received our dates yet! We have asked the Lord what we should do next for a fundraiser, and I'll be honest I'm not sure I like the answer. Wait for it......He said do nothing. I figured I didn't hear him right, but Jarrod wasn't getting anything either, arg. So when I was with Mom one day, I asked her to pray and see if the Lord gives anything to her. She said that maybe God doesn't want us to do anything and He wants to provide! I told her what I heard Him say and she told me then I can't do anything, just trust Him! If I try to do this in my own strength, then I am being disobedient! Wow, so I can't do anything! I hold my hands up in surrender, and say "Lord, I am completely trusting You to do this!" Jarrod and I am completely at peace about this, but it is still hard, to sit back and do nothing except pray! And pray diligently, we have been doing, probably more so than ever!! We know the Lord is growing our faith in an entirely new way!! I have moments where my flesh wants to "freak out", but I know that God has us covered! He wants Julia here even more than we do! And there's no way He would have brought us this far just to leave us now! So I am resting in the fact that He is doing this!! I have no clue how, but I'm reminded in Isaiah 55 that His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts, so I am resting in that!!

A beautiful friend emailed me this morning with encouragement and this scripture Psalm 27:14 - "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord." The Amplified Bible reads the beginning and ending of that verse like this: Wait and hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Can I just say I receive that!! We've all heard the saying not to expect too much, so we won't be disappointed. I'll admit I've taken that approach MANY, MANY times!! But the Lord revealed something to me. I'm thinking He will let down my expectations as many people have throughout my life. I'm afraid if I expect Him to love me unconditionally, through all my faults, that He won't. I'm afraid He won't follow through on His words, like so many others haven't.....and so on. My expectancy should ALWAYS be in Him! Even when dealing with others. I expect the Lord to move on my behalf, not the person moving on my behalf!! Even when thinking on my children, I can't control their lives, or their outcomes in life. But I EXPECT the Lord to always be with them, guiding them on the path He has ordained for them! I'm not going to expect them to be perfect, I do know and expect that the Holy Spirit will always be by their side to whisper those words of correction, encouragement and love to them!! So this was right on time!! It brought me to tears when I read the email, as well as the revelation the Lord gave me as I prayed on it!! Thank you Karen for sending me this love and encouragement, and reminder that the Lord is supplying all we need!!

We have 3 friends that are in Ukraine right now completing their adoptions! One is the Lawry's, who are adopting Julia's best friend, Tanya! Here is a picture of Tanya and Julia, aren't they so beautiful!! I feel honored that God chose me to be Julia's mom, that He wants to bless me with another child!! I'm overwhelmed at His love for me, and everytime I look at all my children, I feel this way!!

Well, I think I've blabbed, I mean blogged enough!! I have many more things on my heart, but I'll save them for another day!! Be blessed my friends, and I pray that through our journey, that you will see a glimpse of God more and more in your everyday life!!

A hurt heart........

Good evening friends!! It seems that I am blogging more than I usually do, but I guess it's because God keeps putting things on my heart, and I feel like I need to share them. Or sometimes maybe I need to just get them out to help release them to Him!! Either way here it goes!!

Tonight, my heart is a bit hurt..... I've been praying about how to word this, b/c I know I need to get it out and maybe during that minister to someone's heart and spirit. I won't put specific details, b/c I don't want to damage anyone else, just share my heart and burden.

This whole adoption journey has been a rollercoaster of emotions.......excitement, sadness, overwhelming, lonely, encouraging, disappointing, beautiful and many many other things!! We have had cheers of encouragement as well as words of disapprovement. The encouraging words have way outnumbered the opposite, holding us up when we needed it the most. But the blows of negativity, although not as many, have been hard ones. As we have gotten the dispproving comments, we have grown in our knowledge that the Lord wants us to walk this journey! We have grown stronger with each one!

We remember that Jesus was persecuted by others for the things He said and the things He did! We know that others will be against us, but God is always for us! We KNOW without a shadow of doubt that we are walking in the calling that the Lord has placed on our lives!!

We have been labeled as crazy, for wanting more children. It says in  Psalm 127:3

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Why do so many forget this, especially Christians? We often look at children as a job. We try our best, but as long as they don't interfere with our plans or our life too much, then that's fine. Not many people truly treasure the value God places on children. Now I'm not saying it's wrong to only have 1 child or 2 for that matter, but how many people actually sit before the Lord and listen to their calling on life and how many children God planned for their family. Many times I mourn the children that I refused to birth by having my tubes tied. God is gracious to allow me the opportunity to "mother" other children by adoption!

So I realize sometimes that my feelings aren't common among couples in "modern society", but I'm not out for man's approval. I am in front of an audience of One and that's all that matters!! So I'm not explaining myself or trying to make others understand, that's God's place to do so. All I can do is pray that others will see the heart of the Father. Which brings up my hurt feelings this evening......

We have come halfway with our fundraising/donations reaching $12000! This is so awesome! We still have about $13000 left to go. God has brought us this far, and we know He won't let us down now!! I praise Him in this, and I'm so thankful that He was the one to call us to adopt and that we walk in His strength, not our own!!

I have this AMAZING woman that I grew up knowing that wanted to do something kind for us!! She has been working on planning a fundraiser to help us with our fees, and it has been such a sweet and encouraging thing for me!! During her efforts, she was shut down by an authority that she had to submit to. Therefore the fundraiser is off. The part of this that hurts so bad, is that this is a part of my childhood that is turning me down, rejecting what we are doing. We are to be the church, all of us (regardless of domination, etc) the bride of Christ. How can Christians be this way, and shut down something that God has called all men to do??

To me, it's not even about the money part of things. My Father in Heaven has promised this will happen, that He will provide all we need for our adoption. It's about members of the body of Christ, something that was so important to me, and a BIG part of my walk with the Lord, shutting the doors on me. It hurts when family (whether church family or actual family) doesn't support your decisions, your walk with the Lord, trust me, I know this WAY more than I would like to admit to.

I'm used to be hurt by others, by their rejection, by their unforgiveness, and I realize that they, like me, are only human and will make mistakes! So the Lord has given me grace to get past those hurts and move on in forgiveness and grace! But this one hurt a little more than I expected. I guess I am disppointed. In Malachi 4: 6 if says "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." I feel like this is where God has the church as a whole, it's time to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children.

Many children don't have fathers, so it's time for Christian men to rise up and take that roll. So many times we don't want to step out of our comfort zones. Why would we want to take another child in our homes, that would disrupt our picture perfect life?? Why would I go out on a limb and do what God called me to do? I wouldn't be able to buy that boat that I wanted, or take that trip to Europe I wanted to, or have that nice car that I wanted??? We are all so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget about the reality of the world outside of our world. There are orphans that need homes, there are widows that need help, there are homeless people that we need to reach out too, that are abused women that need rescuing, there are children grabbed daily for sex trafficing, there are prostitutes that need help seeing the light, there are drug addicts that need help, and the list goes on and on.......it's time for the church to WAKE UP.........

We all have our causes, and we always want to do those "sweet little things", so we've done our Christianly duty. How about getting out of the boat a little more?? Yes, it's about the heart, and those "little things" need to be done, but how many people only stick to those "safe" ministries to do?? They don't want to step out more in faith. It's so heartbreaking to see these things. The Lord has a heart for the broken hearted, and I feel it's time we start seeking what is important to the Father more, and what's important to the world less!!

I really didn't mean to write this much, I just needed a place to unload my heart! God will be faithful to mend my wounded heart, and I will walk in forgiveness to the ones causing this hurt! I am thankful that I have such AMAZING friends that want to help us walk what God has called us to in our lives!! I know we wouldn't have near as much hurt and pain if we weren't on this adoption journey, but I wouldn't change it for anything!! We are doing what God is calling us to, and growing so much spiritually because of it!! Be blessed my friends, and rest in what God is calling you too!! Have faith, jump out of the boat, go against the flow of the "normal", do what God has ordained you to do!!

Adventures in Parenting......

Good evening everyone! I can't believe I'm blogging two days in a row, but here goes!! I'm not really sure what this blog is about, maybe venting, maybe realizing things! Anyways, here goes!!

Today has been a day! Not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good!! My morning started off wonderful, with hugs from my babies and hubby, a nice walk around the neighborhood listening to my worship music, then talking with our sweet girl in Ukraine and our incredible facilitator!! So we got off to a great start!! While we were skyping and I was walking, the tv got turned on to keep the little ones busy!! Hard thing, once you turn it on, it's sometimes hard to turn off!!

So I decided to do some re-arranging in our school room, and I'm quite impressed!! So after a while, I'm not going to admit how long, I pulled the kids away from the tv to have some school time! This was a nightmare, they didn't want to sit down, to think, or to even cooperate for that matter! It was a bit frustrating! So I kept them as long as my sanity could handle, then let them free to play!!

After a bit I asked them to clean up, only to get the usual "I don't want to, I'm too tired, I already did it all, it's their turn". It really makes me want to go to a COMPLETELY toyless house!! I try not to be the "mean mom", but sometimes it has to come down to that!!

Here's part of the problem, then again it's nice!! My kids LOVE playing together!! Noah is 7, Hannah is 5, and Jonah is 4. Many days the kids get up and start playing before I'm out of bed. Before you judge me, my kids are EARLY risers, getting up around 6:30, sometimes 7. So many times they have had a nice time playing with things and making a mess of the house!! I realize that they are kids and kids are prone to messes, so I try not to get all uptight about it!!

It's the clean-up time that is the struggle. They don't want to quit playing to clean up their messes!! They are having way too much fun!! I am so thankful that they love each other this much, and I am choosing to look at this! While yes, they have their arguments and fights, the majority of the time, they are playing nicely and with their imaginations!!

I'm also realizing that part of my problem is inconsistency, I'm not intentional.......there I said it, it's my confession. I used to be intentional, used to be consistent, then I became a mom!! I know, I know, lame excuse. I'm asking the Lord to help me get past this, and help me to be the mom, wife, teacher, friend, and all my other hats that He created me to be. I want to be the perfect Amy that He wants me to be.....not that I will be perfect, but I want to be what God created me to be! Now I'm not walking in condemnation, just realizing some of my faults, and I'm hoping to be held accountable to them!!

I want to purposefully train my children in the ways of the Lord! They are learning scripture, and how to treat each other, they are learning to be a blessing and not a curse, BUT I also want them to understand that we take care of and appreciate the things that God gave us. Material things are not important in this world, but we are to respect the things that God has given us!! I'm not a clean freak, so I don't expect perfect!

So while this was probably a random blog post, I feel much better getting this out!! I love my children and love that they love to play together, it's just sometimes a battle! We all face the many battles of life, some small and some large. They all help us grow and appreciate and learn things in different ways! I am thankful for my adventures in being a mommy! While I don't always embrace the moments like I should, I am slowly learning!!

My wonderful Blessing!!

Good evening friends!! I have just come in from walking 2 miles, woohoo!! It was great, and I'm feeling pretty good!! The kids are resting and Jarrod is watching a little tv, so I figured I would write a bit of my heart!!

The past couple of days, I have had this blog on my heart, and praying about how to put it all into words! It may not be long, but then again, sometimes I get long winded!! So tonight, this blog is all about my wonderful husband, Jarrod Lee Thorpe!!

I've realized lately through various things just how BLESSED I am!! I've always known that I have a wonderful husband, but the Lord has really been speaking to me lately about it!! We have a marriage unlike any I've ever seen or known. Then again, you never see anyone's marriage all the time except your own!!

I am honored to be called Jarrod's wife, and I am honored that he leads our household in the ways of the Lord! When I was a young girl, I always dreamed of getting married, you know the typical fairy tale dream that little girls had! I had high standards, and I wasn't wavering any of them!! I prayed for many years it seemed like that God would send me that perfect person for me! I prayed that not only would I fall in love with my husband, but that we would fall in love through Christ. This is exactly what I feel like we have done!!

In Ephesians 5:23 it says "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body." This is how our lives are to run. Our marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church. It saddens me to see so many marriages not operating this way. Now I'll back up a minute, Jarrod and I don't have a perfect marriage and we do make mistakes, often I may add!! But Jarrod leads our home through the guidance and direction of Christ!

When I think of Jarrod, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree at all!! See, when I was praying all those years, I prayed for a husband who had great parents, and boy did I get blessed!! Jarrod's parents I call mom and dad, and I love them as my own! They are my own, and I know they are a gift from the Lord!! Jarrod has learned much from them, as well as myself!! We are where we are in our walk with the Lord because of the love, encouragment, and support of mom and dad!! They have loved and accepted me as their own. They don't hold my past against me, or my faults, they forgive and love me just as the Father does!!

I see all this in Jarrod!! The love and respect he has for me and the guidance he gives to our children is overwhelming!! And it's something I see in his dad! So thank you dad for training your son in the ways of the Lord so that he can guide our family! Mom and I were talking today about dad. Someone recently compared their husband to dad, and there was no comparison! I said, well I have a hubby like dad!! I feel blessed to say that!!

Proverbs 31:11 says "The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain." This is my prayer for our marriage that Jarrod will always trust me and lack nothing!! While I'm not perfect, and never will be, I truly try to be the wife God has called me to!!

One of our favorite things to do is laugh!! When one of us gets started, we don't stop. We've seen recently that our children have picked up on that, and at times, the laughter is rolling on and on in our house until our cheeks and ribs hurt!! Proverbs 17:22 says "A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones". I think we have joyful hearts around here!!

So I have been a little more serious in this blog than I wanted to be, but maybe that's because it was meant for someone!! So here are some of the random reasons my husband is so great..........he leads our family the way God intended, he loves me even when I'm not very loveable, he thinks I'm beautiful even when I look horrible, he loves me despite my faults, he loves our children more than I've ever seen a man love his children, he loves to be silly, he is sometimes my 5th child, he makes me laugh harder than I ever have before, he randomly sends me texts and "Hey Tells" to say I love you, he knows I don't like confrontations so we sometimes make up on text message, he sends me out with my friends sometimes b/c I need time away, he allows me to be the mother God called me to be and stay home with our children, he fully supports me homeschooling and wants to be involved, he wants to adopt as many children as God has called us to, he is a wonderful children's minister, he loves the Lord will all his heart, mind and soul, and he's just Jarrod!!

So I am proud to call him my own, I am proud and honored the Lord chose me for his wife, and I love him more than I could ever possibly describe!!

Revelations in the Middle of the Night!!

So.....I have this really bad habit of staying up late!! I enjoy it, b/c it's my "me time" to do whatever I please.....whether it's reading, watching tv, or at the computer! Last night I decided to go to bed at a decent time for me, but as I lay there, I couldn't go to sleep! So I decided to read more of my book that I have been consumed with!! "Redeeming love", I highly recommend it. Anways, I sat in my closet floor reading as not to disturb Jarrod, and I lost complete track of time! Jonah came in a little later and I rocked him back to sleep then took him to the couch and realized it was 1:45am. Wow, it's been a while since I've been up that late!!

A few minutes later I hear sniffling, so I listened real carefully. It was Hannah! Now if you know Hannah, she is a very "spirited" child as I guess I'll put it! She can have a bit of drama, but she has such a good and compassionate heart! I go in to check on her and ask her what's wrong....she sits straight up in the bed, reaches for me and cries "I miss Julia". This wasn't just the little tears that children sometimes cry, she was really crying for her sister. This brought me to tears, and still does even as I am typing this.  I held her for a bit and prayed and reassured her that Julia would be home with us soon!

After a few minutes, I moved her to the other couch so she could go back to sleep and be closer to us! So Jonah was on one couch, and Hannah on the other! I sat at the end of Jonah's couch and prayed as they drifted back off to dreamland!

Then the waterworks started! I realized that in a few short weeks that I will have to leave these precious blessings here while we go and pick up our other blessing! We will be gone from them for about 5 weeks total, and this will be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. I cried out to God about it, vented I guess, explained my not understanding why we had to leave them here, not wanting to leave them here, yet ready to go running to Ukraine! And then the revelations began!!

Those five weeks are nothing compared to the years that Julia has had to spend in the orphanage without a family, without a mom and dad. My heart started to cry out for Julia too. This poor child, so full of life, so full of joy, and so full of love. So much to give, yet not a family to give it to! Needing so much, yet only having friends and orphanage workers to get it from. Don't get me wrong, we are appreciative that the Lord has placed her in good hands, but she's destined for a family! I can handle a few weeks away from my precious babies in order to bring Julia home to her forever family! I can sacrifice a "little" for a bigger purpose. (I am still crying at this revelation).

Another sweet thing the Lord whispered was "remember when I sent Jesus to earth". Oh Lord, how could I forget? He sent Jesus into this world, just to be brutally beaten and die on a cross so that I can live forever in Heaven with Him. He was away from Jesus for about 33 years, so my few "little weeks" are nothing. I can never know what the feelings were, that God could love me so much that He would send His son to die for me. Those thoughts are so overwhelming of love for me, and for everyone! Such a beautiful picture of redemption.

While we are nothing compared to Christ, the Father showed me some similiarites in our adoption process. We are adopting Julia into our family, just as Christ adopted us into His! We are saving her from a life the enemy had destined for her, and Christ saved us from the pits of hell and what the enemy destined us for! We are having to sacrifice so much, just as Christ sacrificed. We haven't sacrificed anything NEAR what Christ did. In this whole journey, we are learning a bit more of the Father's heart, and understand it better b/c of the humility and trust we are having to place in Him. We are walking a Faith journey unlike any other we've traveled. It's not easy, but I'm not giving up!! Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you' announces the Lord. 'I want you to enjoy success. I do not plan to harm you. I will give you hope for the years to come." Who am I to argue with this??

Another part of the revelation came next. I am being COMPLETELY transparent here, and I hope that you don't judge me. I have been so consumed with the adoption lately, and just life in general that I haven't been enjoying my children like I should! I don't always look at them as blessings. I've been asking the Lord to help me here, but I a lot of times I would just dismiss it as PMS or maybe just a bad day. But I have really been struggling with it lately, and I couldn't seem to "shake" it. I adore my children more than anything, but I also felt they were burdens sometimes.

As I was crying out last night, I asked the Lord again to help me. I am going to be leaving soon for a few weeks, and I want to enjoy the best of every moment. Then the Lord revealed that I hadn't repented for my actions and thoughts towards them. So the flood gates opened even more! I repented to Him and asked Him to give me a love for them that a mother should have, to give me a love like the love He has for me. I went to each of my children and touched their head, prayed for them and me and kissed each of them. I always hate to touch them while they are sleeping, b/c I do not want to disturb them, but last night, they didn't flinch at all. It was completely God!!

I told the Lord that I want to have an unconditional love for the children! Somtimes when I get frustrated with them, I would let it sit and fester, and not let go like I should. The Lord took me to 1 Corithians 13:4-8 "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people's wrongs. Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up. Love never fails." This is the love that I want to have for my children, for my husband, for EVERYONE!! The Lord has brought a new light and love into my heart!!

After staying up and praying for a while, I decided to go to bed. I lay there amazed at all He had shown me, and at this new love and joy I felt towards my children. Now please don't misunderstand me, I've always loved my children, now I've just learned a whole new appreciation for them!!

This morning, we had to arise a little earlier than normal so I could do chapel at our church school! We were rushed, b/c after staying up so late, I didn't want to get out of bed, lol!! It was such a pleasant morning, and the kids and I got going!! While I am listening to them "not rest" hahaha, I am smiling thinking about how much I love them! I talked with them a bit about being sorry that I sometimes get so aggravated! They forgave me, as children are so faithful to do!! And we are having such a great day, even in the "harder" times of the day!!

As I close this, I am amazed at how much God loves me! He has given me the most wonderful husband a gal could ask for!! I am blessed beyond what I really deserve! He has allowed me to birth 3 beautiful and healthy children, all who love Him and praise His name!! And He is blessing me with another beautiful daughter that I am overwhelmed with joy that He chose me as her mom!! I am just overflowing with love and appreciation for having such an amazing Father!!

Today is our special Julia's birthday!! She turns 14! I really wish we were there, or she was here with us, but soon!! We celebrate her though, and she knows how much we love her, and we know she loves us!! It's touches my heart everytime she says "I love you"!! It's a love only the Lord could make happen!!

Be blessed my friends, and I hope that the Lord will speak to you through some of my words!! God bless!!

Rain and birds.....and other things of the heart!!

Good afternoon friends! I've had a blog on my heart for a while, but haven't had the time to sit down and right!! I've been exhausted, busy, and just haven't done it!! As I'm sitting here, I am listening to birds chirping outside and the rain fall! It is one of the most beautiful things I've heard in a while! The Lord had me thinking on the birds....how they can't work, yet He provides for everything that they need. And the flowers of the field, they are clothed in complete beauty. So us, being humans, are worth more than the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, so why do we doubt that He will take care of us? He will take care of us, we have to REST in Him and His word!! We need to have that little thing called FAITH!! That word is a lot bigger than it looks, and each step you take walking in it, it becomes harder and more intense, but it is so BEAUTIFUL!!

As I listen, there are no sounds of children. See, mommy needed a break! It's been an exhausting 2 weeks. One week we were preparing all our paperwork to go Ukraine, and it's there and filed now, praise the Lord!! The next week was filled with hours and hours of work at our church gym preparing for our big fundraiser! I spent more time working up there than a full time job!! Our children were such troopers and handled working so well.....they actually played, but they were outside their routines!! So after a week and a half of that, exhaustion has finally set in! My poor children brought me to tears this morning, unintentionally, but the tears started! So I decided to call on a wonderful friend to keep them, so I could have some refreshing time in the Father!!

It has been beautiful, yet so simple for Him to help me get things "back in order" so to speak!! I have not had things in order for a while b/c of everything we are committed to! I feel like the Lord says to rest!! Our lives are ever changing, but we have to cling to Him, and listen to the direction that He wants me to take! It's funny how this morning, I tried to call friends, and no one answered, and I talked with Him, and He revealed the answer to me!! Beautiful...why don't I sit down more with Him?

As I look around at my house, that isn't in the order I would like it to be, it's slowly coming back to order. The Lord reminded me that there's no condemnation in Christ, there's grace!! He has called us to walk in the things that we are walking in, and He will give us direction! We have to choose to listen to Him, and lay down things that are less important!

A bit of transparency here....I feel like I haven't been enjoying my children lately. I feel like they are a job, instead of my blessings. I love them more than I could ever even explain, but I haven't been enjoying those "little moments". I asked the Lord to reveal why I haven't been. You know what it was??? Too many things were more important to me than them......like Facebook, talking to friends, having a clean house, looking like I have it together......OUCH!! I do need a mental break sometimes, but I haven't been enjoying them, b/c I'm seeking outside "entertainment" so to speak. So I have to repent to both the Father and to them!! I am thankful that God is exposing more of my heart to me, and I will gain more of Him and less of me in it! I will challenge myself to focus on my family more, and less on the other things. So I will be limiting my time on other things in my life!

I do want to update our fundraiser and adoption info, but that will have to wait until another post! I do, however, want to share a little story! We had some friends do a "fundraiser" for us at Stevie B's pizza place. It was 3 teenagers who worked their tales off cleaning tables up and serving people! They had cups on the tables with pictures of Julia and "our story". It was a Friday night, so it was pretty steady and busy! We were sitting in the back by the arcade part, enjoying our meal as a family! I forgot to bring cash, so we told our kids to just go and look at the games, but you know that's not an easy thing! A little later, Hannah brought me her wallet with some change, when I looked in it, I found $5! This was so awesome, so we split it between the 3 of them! They were so happy, and they were excited to win the few tickets that earned them a piece of candy each!!

As we watched the other children come out with hundreds of tickets, it didn't phase my children any, they were happy with the simple things! As a parent, this made me so excited, b/c my children aren't searching for the worldly pleasures! While they enjoyed some games, it wasn't a disappointment!!

As we gathered all the cups at the end of the night, we counted the donations. There was $38 after 3 hours of these sweet teens working so hard. It really saddened me to see how many people gave their children lots of $$ to waste in the arcade, yet didn't want to help the "teenagers cause" (no one knew we were the adoptive parents). It saddened me at society's priorities. I think they were a bit disappointed, but I know they stored up lots of treasures in Heaven!! And I know that I will be more aware of other's needs when I am out somewhere!! Thank you Father for this revelation!!

Alright friends, be blessed! I need to go pick up my babies and prepare for a women's banquet tonight!! Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful Mom friends!!