Adoption........and why my heart is here!!

Good evening dear friends! Hope everyone is resting in the love and grace of abiding in God's presence!! Today has been a great day!! Church this morning, followed by an afternoon of rest, then playing in the yard (loving this weather) and now the babies are down I can blog and write my heart!! I'm just loving this season that God has me in with being a full time mommy!! I had a hard time at first transitioning in, but now, I know what God created me for!!

A few months ago, as we were getting ready for church God spoke to my heart very clearly that we are suppossed to adopt. As I sat there, I thought "Yes Lord, I'm on board, but you have to tell Jarrod, it won't be me that convinces him". When Jarrod came in the room a few moments later, I said with excitement that God has just shared something with me, but told God that he had tell Jarrod. Then I told him about adoption. His response was "Yeah, God will have to tell me that one, b/c I'm just not sure". So I let it lie and just prayed. About 3 weeks later Jarrod came to me and said "Ok, God told me that we are to adopt". So I was so ecstatic, but know that it has to be in God's timing, not mine....although I am terribly ready!! Shortly after that our conversation turned into talking about a children's home......but more about that later, God's doing some things on that one!!

A few weeks ago, a friend let me borrow a book "The Spirit of Adoption" by Randy and Kelsey Bohlender. Now I already knew that we are to adopt, but Lori and Virgil both told me that this book will tear me up......and boy did it! See, what this couple has done is amazing and they are walking in Kingdom, they are bringing heaven to earth by hearing the Father's heart for these children. I don't want to write an entire book about the book, I recommend b/c it's a great book, but I want to put a few things that really stood out to me!

Psalm 127: 4 says "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth." When in battle, you use arrows, and they can go father than you can go, when they are properly released. When you train a child in the ways of the Lord, he/she will be as an arrow and go out in the world and spread the word....the word that you have trained them in. Wow, do you know how many people we can reach with our children and teaching them walk in abiding love with Christ.

I'll be honest, I used to think that people that had a lot of children were pretty crazy....why would they want that headache? But now, I am ready to trade in my car for a 15 passenger van and train my children for His kingdom. The Bible also says that children are a blessing from the Lord, they are a reward. Why would we not want a great reward. The more children that we have, whether birthed or adopted, we extend our influence beyond the seventy-some years that most people spend on this earth. We reach generations way beyond ours, b/c what we train our children in, our children will train theirs, and so on......We will change the world.

There is so much other stuff I can share about the book, but I highly recommend getting the book and reading it....it will bless you! The song comes to mind that we recently sang at church, they lyrics go...."I am royalty, I have destiny, I have been set free, I'm gonna shape history". I want more children to love on and give a home and I want to shape history....for His glory! So here is my heart!! After reading the book, I decided to look at DHR's website at the foster children in the system and my heart broke even more......the siblings, special needs, teenagers, young children.....all of them.......wanting someone to love them and accept them as they are. After seeing quite a few teenagers, I realized some of my heart for wanting so badly to adopt! So here is the short version of why........

When I was conceived, my parents were not married. They were just 18, having just graduated high school. Several family members, including my dad, wanted my mom to abort me. But she didn't want to do that, praise the Lord, He had/has some big plans for my life!! So they got married, only to divorce when I was about 4 months old. I don't fault them, they shouldn't have gotten married just b/c of being pregnant, of course, they shouldn't have gotten pregnant outside of marriage either. But the word says that He knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb, so praise God, He had a perfect plan!

My mom got married a second time to my stepfather, who adopted me. To this day, I haven't asked the reason for this. I have forgiven my birth father (both for not "wanting" me in the beginning as well as letting another man raise me), as the Bible says to "Forgive others so that you may be forgiven", and I have a relationship with him. My children know him as their grandfather. God can restore relationships!

Through various trials and life, my mom and I have drifted apart in relationship (that's another BOOK for another time, my whole life is a book!), and while I love her, we can't have a normal relationship. We talk occassionally, but it's not what I hope that my daughter and I will have. And please don't judge or think that I am not respectful of my parents, I fully respect. I also allow the Spirit to guide me in my boundaries!

Because of these odd relationships with my parents I don't fully have a place to call home. I have a small hometown that I came from, and that I love to go back to. When we do travel back to Alabama, it's a toss up of two aunts for who we will stay with. The problem sometimes is that I feel like we inconveince them when we come. It's not just me, it's my family of 5. We always have a great time, but I know everyone gets exhausted when we come.... I have 3 full of life children. This is sometimes very hard that I have NO place to fully call home....to go back to.....

As I was looking over the DHR list and picture profiles, I saw numerous teenagers about to turn 18 and be out on their own, and I thought about them and that they have no home, no family. Soon they will be out on their own. I want so desperately to give them a home, a family, a heritage in the Lord and give them the Love that the Lord intended for every child to feel and receive. I'm ready for what the Lord has for my family.....I'm ready to add to our family as many children as the Lord will bless us with....

Jarrod is on board, but we know it's not time yet. We feel God is preparing us spiritually and we know that He is going before us to open the doors that need to be opened. Thank you Jesus that you love us just this much to get it ready! We have talked with our children about orphans and that they have no mommy or daddy. We have talked with them about bringing some home to live with us so that they can be a part of our family, and they seemed excited! One night as we were talking, Noah said "mommy, we can even adopt someone with brown skin". See, my children don't see color, they think we are all made the same, and we are!! We see the heart and not the color! God knows the perfect child that needs to be with our family, and I can't wait to meet them!!

So there is a tad bit of my testimony and my heart as to why I want to adopt!! God has some big things planned for the Thorpe family and I can't wait! I already see Him moving in my family, and I'm beginning to see some fruits of my labor while I am home with my children. I'm not perfect, neither are they, but we have Jesus to forgive us and help us on our way!! Thank you for reading this and I hope it will bless you and encourage you to pray about adoption. I'm not sure that everyone is meant to adopt, but there are so many ways you can help others with adoption and of course you can pray! There are so many babies being aborted everyday and if we just show those moms that these sweet babies are wanted, then we can change their hearts!

I'm leaving you with a few pics from a recent trip we took to see some dear friends! We went to the beach and it was so wonderful!! Be blessed!!

You're Never Giving Up......Thank you Jesus!

Hello my friends!! I hope this finds you all doing well!! I have had so many things on my heart to share, but haven't!! Tonight as I am cleaning the kitchen and having worship the Lord stirred my heart so much! Forgive me if I seem to babble or seem a little out of it.....I am caught up in the Spirit right now!! I want to start off with prayer first for the one reading this, so here goes....

Father,
I thank you for your unfailing love and mercy. Thank you for your forgiveness and grace that you pour out on us each morning! I ask that you pour out many, many blessings over the one reading this, I pray for a refreshing in their spirit, that they will feel you in a deeper and more intimate way. Thank you that your word says that the joy of the Lord is our strength, so I pray that joy over my friend.....they will have new strength like no other by the joy that you bring them. I pray that no weapon that forms against them shall prosper, but they will have victory over their enemies. Speak to my friend as they lie down at night, give them a peaceful and restful night's sleep when they lay down, let them rest in Your arms trusting that You love them so much more than they could ever fully realize. Send them dreams and visions revealing your perfect plan for their life. I thank you for loving us so much that you sent your son. I praise you and love you. In Jesus name, Amen.

I want to start off with sharing the words to this new song that we have completely fallen in love with....it's part of why I feel so out of it right now. It's by Jonathan David Helser and it's called "You're Never Giving Up". The first time Jarrod played this song for me, I just teared up and wanted to fall over like a baby and cry. I cannot begin to even fathom His love for us, and that He never gives up on us. Okay, here I am tearing up again.....so here are the words!

-Your love, it never quits, it never stops chasing my soul, Before I was even in my mother's womb you knew me, you loved me. Even in my sin Lord, you wouldn't stop. Everytime I'd run away you'd come chasing me. Papa, you won't let go of me, even in my sin and even in my mess. I turned and started coming home after I'd wasted your inheritance, you jumped off the porch and with a ring and a robe, you came running for me. You never stopped, you just grabbed a hold of my soul, you said my son's come home, let's throw a party for him, he's home. He once was dead, he's alive; he once was blind, now he can see. My Father, what can I do to say thank you? to say I love you? I give you my heart, my soul, all that I am. You came running for me. You've never given up on me. Your love never fails, it never ends, you never stop chasing my soul. So I break open this bottle, I break open my heart and I pour it all on you Lord, I wanna waste my life on You, you are so worthy, you gave it all, I wanna give it all, every drop, my heart bleeds for you. Every tear that I weep, you come down and catch and say this is the one I love. I don't care what people in the room say, I only wanna please you to see you smile, to make you happy. I just want to spend the rest of my life loving  you. You don't stop loving me, I can't stop loving you.....and so it goes on.....-

This song is so beautiful and really speaks to my heart everytime I listen to it! I want to share now how this completely ministers to me.....

I haven't always had the best/easiest life, but I have a wonderful Father in heaven who has grown me from the past and my hurts, mistakes, and disappointment. I'm sure there are so many other emotions I could list, but will stop there! So many of my relationships have been based on my performance, and what I could do for that person. I have learned, though it was hard, that my parents and the ones raising me did the best they could with what they knew how to do. Things spoken over me, they didn't realize the death their words had. We are to speak words of life, and we ALL at times forget that. When I read the bible and the story of the prodigal son it just melts my heart when I think this is how God is with us. Even when I disobey, turn my back on Him, don't walk on the path He wants me on......He runs to me when I come home. He's constantly chasing my soul, yearning for me to be abiding in Him constantly......Wow.....He loves me without expecting anything in return, but He longs for that fellowship. There is no relationship based on expectation, or when I fail, He doesn't say "No way, been there done that, not doing it again". Instead He says " Welcome back my Beloved, I've missed you and I love you so much, let me share my heart with you". I pray that I can be this kind of parent to my children. I sometimes forget and I get disappointed with my children and don't want to be "nice" to them, but boy am I so wrong in this......Father, help me.

I just want to encourage you that no matter what is happening in your life, no matter what you have done, what has been done to you.......God wants all of you! He wants you to abide with Him in a daily/24/7 relationship. He wants all your hurts, pains, tears, love, worship, victories, brokeness, disobedience, everything, every emotion you could think possible.......He wants all of you! He will run to you with a ring and a robe and throw a party for you......it will be the best party you have ever been to when you rest in Him....I pray for you and that you will encounter God in a new way. He wants you back......He forgives you, He loves you, He's there with His arms wide open and ready to receive you.....Run to Him

I added a picture of a lighthouse. This particular one is from a beach trip we recently took. It sits in the middle of the water. I see you as a lighthouse surrounded by water. You may think this isn't good. Just picture the water as God's love surrounding you. You can't move any way without His love being wrapped around you. You are the light sitting in the middle of it, shining this love that He has for you over others!! Okay lighthouse, be encouraged!! I pray many blessings over you!!