I am so thankful.......

Good evening friends! I am sitting here in a quiet house.....all the kiddos are sleeping and Jarrod got called back out to work, so here I am, all alone!! I'm exhausted, yet refreshed from God's presence!!

This weekend was a wonderful weekend, filled with cleaning, family, birthday party, church, worship, fellowship with friends, grilling out and ordering pizza!! Life doesn't get much better than that!!

We had some guests come over after church on Sunday, and it was quite delightful!! Not only did we get to bless and fellowship, but the Lord sent them with a word for us too, well, quite a few words and boy was it encouraging!!

Upon arriving, I gave the grand tour of our home, showing the kitchen, my bedroom, the kids bedrooms, living room, school room, dining!! We worked hard on Saturday cleaning it, so I was quite pleased about that, lol!! After a great visit for a few hours, everyone departed and we got the kids to bed and  Jarrod and I stayed up talking about the days events.

Then the Lord revealed something to me. As I was showing our house, I was almost ashamed that we don't have an actual house, we have a town house. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way, except that I have let others influence what I think I "should" have. Wow, forgive me Father for being unappreciative. I am very fond of our house, in fact, it's HOME, and it's quite cozy! It is plenty big for us at the moment, and often remember that the Lord knows our needs before we even do! Who says I need a huge house, it would only be more to clean!!

As the children were playing out back today, I was thinking about all the things my backyard has been.....a ball field, a track, a battlefield, a house, a pool, and so many other things that my wonderful children and their imaginations have made it! No it's not the huge backyard that I one day long for, but it's mine!!

Our hearts have shifted in our wants!! We want for our next home a small farm so that we can have a garden, some cows, chickens, and whatever else God puts on our hearts! Mainly so we can provide the needs for our family within our own home! But......all that, God put on our heart, so why do I need to rush it? God knows the perfect place that we need to be!

We sit between two elderly couples (both probably in their 80's), who we constantly talk with, laugh with, and help out! I never thought I would speak this way to an elderly man, but I had to tell my neighbor to let go of his trash can so that Noah could walk it to the street for him! He didn't need to walk out there! I asked him if anyone had ever talked to him that way, and he said as a matter of fact, no! I told him it's a good thing that he loves me!! :)

So I know, if nothing else, that God has us here for these two couples!! So I had to do some repenting for not being content and letting what others have said make me think the same thing!! (and quite a few others have told me that I NEED  bigger house!!). I really think it'll be funny if God has us adopt while we are still here!!

And just so none are worried.....it's a 3 bedroom townhouse, the size of a freestanding home....only we don't have to do yardwork, lol!! That is provided!!

So I am counting all my blessings this evening, and I know that I am the daughter of the Most High King, and He meets all my needs according to His riches in glory!! He knows my desires and my needs, and He has the perfect things for me! But I am to learn to be content in whatever state I am!!

So I encourage you.....no matter what voids might be in your life right now, and some have many, many voids.....I encourage you to look at what you DO HAVE, instead of what you do not have! Thank the Father for all that He has blessed you with and trust that He has your best interest in mind! In fact, God has me in Matthew lately, and He took me to Matthew 7:9-11 "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" WOW.....that's all I can say!! God gives great gifts, and knows when we need them!! Be blessed my friend!!

My wonderful family on our trip to the Apple Orchard!!

Security.....

Good afternoon my friends!! It is very quiet in my house right now.....the children are napping and the rain is falling outside, I LOVE IT!!

God gave me a little revelation last week and I've been trying to put my thoughts together to write this blog!! Not planning on being long winded, but who knows, lol!! I received this while cleaning a house! When I am cleaning, I am alone and the customer isn't home. So what better time to spend talking with the Father! Even though it's work, it's quite relaxing to me, b/c I can actually talk with Him (interruption free) and hear Him! Not that I can't at other times, but there's something about being away from my home and my callings and being somewhere else!! Okay, that said, here goes......

We attend a wonderful church, Southside Christian Fellowship! It's not a perfect church, but then again, there is no perfect church! Everyone/every place has flaws and things to be improved, but that's the beautiful thing....God's not finished with us yet! And by the way, we are the church, not a building! A couple of years ago, Jarrod and I took over the children's ministry. This was definetely from the Lord and His leading! While we have made some changes, I do often long for more, but also trusting in His timing. Do I feel we are doing everything right, by golly no way! But we are diligently trying to seek the Lord on how to run His children's ministry at this church! Okay, sorry, completely bunny trailed there, didn't mean to do that, but guess it was on my heart! Onto the real thing....

We have been at the church for at least 8 years, but Jarrod has been longer, so needless to say our children have grown up here! They should be used to going, right? They should be used to going to class, right? After all, sometimes we are in there with them, we are up there probably more than some are......But they are not always happy about going to class. They have all gone through this, it seems at the age of 3 & 4. Some days they will go in class fine without any kicking and screaming; some days....ummmm, not so much! Sometimes it depends on the teachers, other times they would do it no matter who is in there. With us being in the position that we are, this is really frustrating and rather embarrassing. After all, I should control my children, right? HAHAHAHA, and really not let them be children and express emotion right? I often times find myself apologizing, when in reality I shouldn't, b/c they are just that, CHILDREN! We have handled the "fits" so to say in various ways....we have disciplined them, let them stay in church with us, or dragged them in the class kicking and screaming (yes, I mean literally) and left them there (rest assured, they always calm down).

As some know, I have started homeschooling my children this year. So the question comes to mind, am I with them too much that when I leave them they act this way? Well, I have no other problem with them when leaving them with friends, so I really don't feel this is the answer. Last week God showed me about the security that they have in me. They are, in no way, in danger or a bad situation at church, but maybe they need to be with me. Jarrod recently read a book that talked about the Holy Spirit in them is no younger than the Holy Spirit in us....there is no age on the Spirit! Maybe they need to be sitting in church. Now the way that they communicate this to us is the reason for discipline in the past. We have talked to them about talking with us, not screaming, etc to get the point across to us! Would it be easier for me to focus if they are in class, absolutely, but there is a reason that they want to sit with me and Jarrod.......they feel SECURE.

You know that thing everyone talks about, Childlike Faith. Well, this secure thing, we should grab a hold of it, like our children often do. We are to rest securly in Christ's arms, right? But so many times, we carry burdens that He NEVER meant for us to carry, yet we still do. I'm going to be very transparent here, and tell you a burden that I carry way more than I should.....I think I need to carry the burden of finances. Now yes, everyone has to budget and plan, and we all have decisions to make regarding how we spend God's money (yes, I just said God's money....He provides the jobs that we all carry, and it's His money). We are faithful in tithing (ok, we sometimes fail here, but we have a gracious God), so His word says in Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So why do I carry this, do I not rest securely in Him that He will provide?

Okay, so now that I have been a bit transparent, I want to share another scripture that God revealed today. I wanted to find scripture on being secure, but I hadn't looked up any yet! I knew what I wanted to write, but needed the scripture! Deuteronomy 33:12 says "About Benjamin he said: 'Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders." We are to rest secure in Him, and rest on Him......wow, He's got us covered.

I have a new appreciation for the children wanting to be with me and me being their security......b/c it's a picture of what my walk with the Lord should be like. I need Him and want Him beside me every step that I take, I am only secure when He is with me. So be encouraged, He wants you to rest securely in Him, it blesses Him... He designed us to need Him. Run to Him.....rest in His security! Be blessed my friend!!

The picture is from a recent mini photo shoot we did with the children! Here they ran to me knowing that in me that they would find security.....I love this picture!

Matthew 5:37......

Good evening my friends!! I hope this blog finds everyone well!! I sometimes feel when I write that I am back in the old days writing back home to some family or friends that I am far away from! I really do miss the days of letters or cards. I used to send them often and LOVED getting them in the mail.....hmmmm, maybe I should start that again!! I've been meaning to write for a while, but haven't had much time! So here I am, children are all tucked in their bed and fast asleep at 8pm, Jarrod is working late, and I have a quite and somewhat clean house to myself!

I've had a lot on my mind lately and praying about what exactly I need to blog about, and what better thing to talk about than the thing that God is working on me with!! Hmmmm, being transparent maybe will help someone else through it, not sure, but I'm going to be transparent!

If you know me personally, you know my heart and love for helping others. I LOVE people, and I want to do so many things to help them. In fact, so many times I lay aside my personal feelings/exhaustedness/whatever other emotions to cater to others. So the other day I asked the Lord how much is too much. What if I give all of myself to others that I have none left for me, or even for me to spend time with Him. This is really a tough one, b/c we are supposed to have a servant's heart, right?

Well today, Matthew 5:37 came to me "But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No' be 'No'. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." I have read this over and over and I have told my children this several times over and over, lol!! In that people can turn it into much condemnation towards others. Sometimes we are quick to speak, which the Bible warns us about doing, and don't think about the answer we should be giving, or seek the Lord for that answer. Many of times I have had to change my answer to my children b/c I answered before really thinking about what I answering yes too......(like maybe, "Mom, can I go and crack some eggs for you". Me not thinking, sure honey, and as I hear the first egg crack, I think 'oh crap, what did I just tell them?')....So therefore, sometimes we do have to change our answers sometimes. And there are other times where our circumstances may change, so we have to change a yes answer to a no.....(ex. maybe I was to go to dinner with a girlfriend, but Jarrod has to work late last minute, so plans had to change!)..

But today, God revealed this to me in a new way. What if I tell someone yes that I will do something for them, but deep in my heart the answer is no. I really don't want to do it, but I really want to help that person, so I answer yes, b/c I know it will bless them (and this is a BIG lesson in my home lately). So what is my true answer? Hmmmmm, makes you think, right? (ok, sorry, think I am using hmmmmm too much, lol!). A friend helped me understand that with all my willingness to help others is really seeking to please people. Ouch, that truth hurt there. I am seeking to please people. I have such a giving heart, but something else God revealed to me today kinda hurt. I am trying to save different people from things in their life, almost being their saviour. Oooohhhhh, that stinks. There is only one Saviour and that is our Lord Jesus Christ, so who am I to think that I can do that for others.

Now I know that God has given me a love for people, but that doesn't mean that I have to do absolutely everything that they ask of me. Wow, really God, why haven't I realized this before! So many times in my life, b/c I have such a giving heart, I have been majorly taken advantage of! I remember this one time in high school, a friend of mine wrote a note from a teacher to get her boyfriend out of class, as a matter of fact is was 2 notes. When she got caught, she asked me if I would take the blame for one of those notes. I agreed, b/c I wanted her to like me and I didn't think it was too bad. I ended up with detention and having to write an essay, but the principal (who was a family friend) never really thought I did it.....he knew that I wouldn't. So can someone please tell me why in the world I would take the blame? Crazy, huh......So I have had my fair share of getting run over!!

So now, I am having to learn my limits and balance my life. I am in a new season of my life, which I love more than I ever could have thought possible. I am embracing the very things that God has blessed me with, and although it's not all peachy, I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars! The past month of so I have had much chaos in my life, some self induced and some by trying to help others. It has truly interrupted my homeschooling days, and while I know there will be some interruptions, I am trying to decide how much we truly need. It seems the minute I got our chore packs written for the children to do each morning before school, we'll get going for a few days, then something will happen and it will take almost a week to get back on track! Seems kinda crazy how all that works, but it really turns my world upside down!

I want to be used for ministry and however/whatever ways that God sees fit, but my FIRST ministry is to Him, My Husband, and My Children. I seemed to have misplaced that order somewhere along the past few weeks, but I am going to get it straight! I am confessing all this to first off, get it off my chest, and second off to hopefully to have some accountability to learn when to say yes and when to say no!

I once read a devotion that talks about all the good things that there is a chance for us to do. It's learning to look at all those 'good' things and asking God what would be the 'best' for us to do. So many things might be the best, but not at that particular season in our life! I am a person that when I get passionate about something, I run after it full force with so much zeal, b/c that is what is on my heart. So when I am running at 100 different things, I am not truly putting my best into anything that I am doing. When I work, I want to do it as unto the Lord, but I can't give my 100% if I am exhausted from all the responsiblities that I've obligated myself to!

Okay, well I think I've been long winded enough! I pray that this will encourage someone out there and maybe shed some light on something someone else might be going through!! Be encouraged if you are overwhelmed, sit before the Lord and ask Him what His perfect plan is for your life, what all should be on your plate and what should be removed. He loves you so much and has plans for your life, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. And I want to leave you with this last scripture, Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me"......what an awesome thing! Be blessed dear child of God! (leaving you with a picture of the loves of my life, and my wonderful blessings from above!)