Good evening friends!! I'm not real sure what this is going to be exactly about, but I felt like writing! I've been in this mode lately where anything, I mean ANYTHING can tear me up. I don't feel like I am a usualy crying kind of girl, but maybe I am turning into one!! Good things make me cry, bad things make me cry, sad things make me cry, my kids make me cry, God makes me cry just at the thought of His love for me and my undeserving self! Wow, I'm just tearing up thinking of all those things....arg....

On facebook I've joined the group "You know your from Eclectic if...". Eclectic is my small, one stop light town, that I grew up in! I loved it in so many ways, yet I was biting at the bit to get away from it for more than one reason. As I'm reading some of these things, I'm remembering so much of my childhood and high school days, just reading those things and it brings such a smile to my face. So much of my childhood I have blocked out, b/c it wasn't always a picture perfect family....in fact it was quite the opposite. I feel God has been so gracious to allow me to hold on to the good things from those times and the others....well, they are lost somewhere in God's hands so I don't have to hold on to them! So this bit that I am reading on facebook just makes me smile....about the sweet Coach Brown, who left this earth far earlier than anyone would have liked, and how everyone knows everyone's business, the pep rallies on fridays and hanging out in the parking lots. So much of that I sort of wish I could give my children, those seemed like pure and simple days. But the truth is....life isn't what it was back when I was young. God has put such a burden on my heart to protect my children and train them in His ways, and I'm going to go after this steadfastly.....yes, even on the hardest days!

So I'm going to rewind back to the magazine I referenced last night "Above Rubies" and add some more. The article that I am going to reference is called An Overflowing Land. I am going to give a lot of scriptures here and maybe share what they mean to my life! Joshua 1:9 says "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Isn't this great, He never leaves us....He doesn't just put it in our hearts and tell us what to do, but He actually goes with us every step of the way! Another thing said here is "God does not leave you to mother your children on your own. He is right beside you, backing you all the way. He is with you constantly and watches over the walls of your home. His eyes are always upon you in your land of motherhood, 'from beginning of the year even unto the end of the year'(Deut 11:12). You can call upon Him at any moment. He is your source of widsom and daily strength-and His resources never run out! You will be amazed at how you cope when you take your eyes off your problems and turn them upon the Lord! The psalmist proclaims, 'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me' (Psalm 138:7). Often our difficulties don't go away, but God has promised to revive and refresh as we go through them!"

Another one......"Our land of motherhood should always be enlarging (children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren). It's interesting that Satan wants to minimize the literal land of Israel, or hopefully eradicate it from the earth. He knows if He can do that, He wipes out the Bible which is filled with prophecy for Israel. He also works to minimize the land of motherhood or diminish it altogether. He hates life and tries to stop it every way he can. But don't let your land be diminished-you belong to a large land." I've realized the lie that the enemy has been spreading in my head over the past 6 years.....oh you have to work to help support the family to do you part. My job, that God has made clear several times, is to be a mom and wife. My "job" is to train my children in the way of the Lord. Psalm 127:3-5 says "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." I want my arrows to be sharp in their knowledge and relationship with the Lord....most importantly their relationship!!

It tickles me pink...yes I just said that....when I hear my children say "thank you Lord". It's so cool when you go to the store, and God decides to give you a special kiss that day and you get a close parking spot! So I'll just quietly say "Thank you Lord." Well the kids have picked that up and they say it whenever we get any parking spot!! They do as I do!!

Jarrod and I had some announcements to make Sunday at church regarding the children's ministry. Jarrod does the talking b/c I don't like being in front of people on a microphone! While watching a slideshow from our fun water day, the Lord kept pressing on my heart to share, so I told him to hand me the mic!! I shared what I had witnessed in my children with the way they treated each other, and how it warmed my heart, b/c I knew that I was getting something right, b/c they were doing things that Jarrod and I do. Then other times I see them doing some not so good things, and it made me sad. Our children have us as their guide.....and what they see us do, they will do. If we dance before the Lord, they will dance; if we spend time in worship and prayer, they will; if we sit and watch tv all day, they will also. They mock us, so we need to make sure we realize that the training goes beyond our words. What's important to us is important to them!!

Okay, well that's enough for now. I've rambled some and this may make absolutely no sense, but I am no longer teary eyed, feel a little weight off my heart, so I think maybe this ministered to someone!! I'm leaving with a picture from our anniversary weekend away at Toccoa Falls. I will be blogging about it soon, but still need to gather all my thoughts!! There is a great book "Dam break in Georgia" about the actual dam break in 1977. I recommend reading it and I have a copy if you would like to borrow it! It was such an uplifting thing to read about this town that lost 20 children and 19 adults (I think was the totals, forgive me if wrong), yet through it all, they gave thanks to God. They never lost sight of this.....such an amazing testimony!! I know God brought us to this little town, but I'm getting a head of myself, that's for later!! Anyway, here is a BEAUTIFUL picture of the waterfall, not sure the picture does justice, but it's beautiful and so peaceful. Both Jarrod and I could really feel the presence of the Lord, and heard Him more clearly than either have in a while!! Be blessed!!

I love when God speaks to my heart!!

Good evening!! It's almost midnight and although I planned to write this tomorrow, Jarrod just got called out to work, so I figured I would go ahead!! I will go ahead and warn you.....this is going to be a long winded blog!! I have so much that God has stirred up in my heart today, and I just know that it will encourage someone, or maybe it will just encourage and remind me!! I want to hold on to moments like this!! Okay so here goes!!

I'm going to start with this evening! I decided that I was going to FINALLY plant the seeds that a friend gave me....oh let's see, probably 2 months ago!! Before doing that though, I wanted to weed the front real good and trim the bushes, which we have a lot of!! So I am pulling and clipping and I came across quite a bit of briars in so many random spots. We've never had these before, but I'm convinced that God put them there for this specific reason! As I am pulling them up, I learned real quickly (I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist) to pull the part right at the ground as to not get pricked, b/c that there hurts!! I was thinking about what I was doing, pulling all the bad and unattractive things away from the front. Also, I warned the kids not to touch those because those would hurt. As I am going through a change of seasons in my life, I feel like God is doing some "gardening in my heart". He is pulling the bad, unattractive, and hurtful things away from me, so that He can replace them with some beautiful seeds to bloom. This takes time and even the "pruning" that He does may hurt. But it was such a sweet thing to experience this. Many of the weeds had some hard deep roots and didn't want to come up, but I had to keep pulling harder and harder and actually cutting some of them. I feel like this is happening in my life.....there are things I don't want to let go of that God is saying to let go of, and He's having to work a little harder for me to realize. Not that God forces us to do anything, He loves us so much that He gives us a choice! But He sure loves us so much and knows what is the absolute best!! So I am going to quite having those roots, and the things that He is weeding out of my life I am going to let go and release to Him.....sigh, deep breath.....this isn't an easy thing. I do have to keep reminding myself that I have released things......especially people. I think this is one of the hardest things to release.....so many times we have friends and family that are such big parts of our lives, but we realize that they are only there for a season.....even with this realization, it often hurts.....but we have to trust God knows best......and HE REALLY DOES! So that was my gardening insight tonight!! I think God has given me a new love for this, for I know He has more to show me as I do it.....and it can be science for my children!!

Okay, back to my morning!! It was a pretty good morning, although I've been a little easily teary eyed the past couple of days.....think it might just be hormones!! My sweet friend, Lori, called and said she had something to drop by and it was a magazine called Above Rubies. She thought it had a few good articles that I would be interested in. Can I just say that God spoke to me in so many ways through these different women's testimonies!! I'm going to share the ones that jumped out at me and spill a little of my heart along with them!! To start off with, these are a few of their comments that they daily leave on facebook, speaking of, I need to add them on there!!

What is our attitude toward children? Even though we love our children we can often be irritated by them. Jesus said "Whoever receives this child in My name receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me" (Luke 9:48). Isn't it amazing that God says the attitude we have towards children is the attitude we have toward Him? And I wonder what God thinks when we don't want to receive His children?" (All I can say is WOW.....I need to work on my attitude a little more towards my children)

Isn't it strange how opposite our culture is to the example Christ set? He said "Let the children come to me" and yet our society continually looks for ways to get the children out of our way. Set the tone by enjoying every child that crosses your path today and in this way you will also be following Christ's example.

Okay, so here were the two that stuck out the most above, but there were many, many more that I really liked!! Okay, next reality...God opened my eyes to realize this, and it was through an article, but I'm not going to share the article, I'm going to share my heart!

When I got pregnant with Jonah, our 3rd child, Hannah was only 5 months old. I had c-sections, so the drs were really concerned about me having another one so close. I let them "scare" me initially, but the Lord really shone through with every detail of the pregnancy and Jonah's birth! I know God has some big plans for him.....for all my children for that matter. With having 3 c-sections, we had to make a decision, and felt pressed too b/c of the drs. We prayed about it and felt at peace about having my tubes tied. I now, so many times, wonder if that peace was merely fear of continuing to have children after so many c-sections, b/c we let the "world" affect us and our thinking. As I sit here I can't help but cry and wish that I could go back and have a "do over" and not have that done. I'm quoting the girl from the article in saying this...."Despite many blessings, there are days I experience overwhelming sadness. I grieve the children I refused to have". I feel this way so often and it took this to realize what exactly I was grieving. I was too focused on my business, my body, our finances, everything except what God wanted for us. I don't beat myself up, but I do grieve. I do believe that God will give us another chance of multiplying by adopting....we don't know yet the time that will take place.....but we both feel it. I sometimes think if I would have had more children, maybe we wouldn't adopt, so that child might not have a home.......but I still grieve for those children that I refused to have......So now that I have been completely transparent and finally "confessed" all this, I can move on.....

I think we so many times get so wrapped up in the "picture" that we see of our lives and what will fit in that picture, and not see what God sees, and His "picture"......God help me to see what You see...

This other lady encouraged me with something she read. You know being a stay at home mom/wife is such a hard job. You lay your life down for others, but what a beautiful picture of Jesus this shows! Sometimes we try to get so busy in ministries and trying to do for the Lord and forgetting that when you have a family, they are to be your FIRST ministry! Here's the statement that she said "If God wants you to be a homemaker, and you spend your days washing dishes and changing dirty diapers, then by fulfilling His plan for your life, you are worshipping God." Today I really had to "lay" my life down once again.....and realize this is what God has called me to do, and it does honor Him that I am fully committed to training my children in the ways of the Lord!

Okay, there's so much more I want to share, but the next bit is quite long....so I will save it for another night!! I pray that you will be blessed and encouraged in reading this. I pray that as you come and go that your steps will be blessed and that God will use you in a mighty way as you take steps of faith and learn to fully walk in the trust of Him!!

Here are some pictures of the kids......one is waiting on the reptile man....and a few of the kids swimming! My babies have become like fish....the love to swim underwater!! I am so proud of them and their new confidence in swimming and in the water!! Noah's had the confidence for a while, but this is new for Hannah and Jonah....who only a few months ago didn't want their faces wet, lol!! Well, I've had 2 children join me and I hear another approaching my rooms, so I guess I should head off here and get some sleep!!