I just finished reading Jarrod's blog, and if you are interested in reading, it's changingcharacter.blogspot.com . It's so beautiful to see how through our adoption journey that God is working on both our hearts!! We are walking through this together and the Lord is growing our faith in a whole new way, and He's doing it in different and personal ways!! To me this is a beautiful thing!! When Jarrod and I married, we became one! We were united in Christ, and we remain that way! He is my best friend, my rock, and my protector. He guides our family, and is a wonderful husband and father. Our marriage on earth is to reflect the marriage of Jesus and His bride. I feel that's our marriage, while not perfect, we try to walk in the unity God created marriage to be!! That being said, that while we are one, we are also still individual, needing that communion and intimacy with the Father!! So, go check out Jarrod blog to see what God is showing Him and the beautiful revelation of a Father's love and guidance!!
Tonight I got to go on a walk before the storms passed through (although they didn't last very long, lol!!). I love to take music and listen while walking and two songs really spoke to my heart tonight, and I must share them and their words!! But first, let me tell you about the sky, it was absolutely gorgeous!! Coming over the top of my house, several miles to the south, I could see the dark clouds rolling in. As they started coming closer, they looked like mountains, they were gorgeous and very dark!! The Lord reminded me that He is moving mountains to make this adoption possible!! I decided to chance another lap, although the clouds were moving pretty fast! As I got halfway around, I realized that I was about to be in the middle of the storm, so I started running! I ran a good bit, then walked. I slowed down a bit, watching the sky. I was about to be in a BIG storm, yet I felt at peace that I would be fine!! Again, it was the Lord speaking to me that although storms may come my way, He's my fortress and my refuge, He's my protector! When I stepped in my yard, I felt the first drop of rain! How amazing that He kept me from being caught in the middle of the storm! My Father loves me more than I realize sometimes!!
So one of the songs that I was listening to was Jacob Ferrell's "Rooted and Grounded", which is one that I really love!! I've invisioned a dance for this, but as with many songs, haven't followed through with completing choreographing, much less presenting for the Father's glory!! Here are the words and can I just say, they really ministered to me tonight, as they have many other times!! "Will I be offended, will I walk away, will I trust You, believing what You say......cause I don't want just a language, I don't need more words, You seem out of reach, but I know You are good.......And my ache won't go away, but I'm too scared to move, would You give me the grace, to get lost in Your love.....I want to be rooted and grounded in love, I want to be found abiding in You, I want to be rooted and grounded in love, I want to be found abiding in You.......There is no turning back, I have come too far, I have no other choice, I've got to love You more". As I listened to these words, I realize the new level of love the Lord has shown me. I want to be rooted and grounded in love, and I'll be honest, that's not always the case. I want my roots to go farther and farther, and love the way He created me to love!! The part that says "there is no turning back, I've come to far, I have no other choice, I've got to love You more" is just a beautiful thing! I'll be honest, when my walk with the Lord wasn't as strong, my life was attacked a lot less by the enemy. I wasn't a threat to him. But now, the devil fears me more than he ever thought he would, and it's because of my love for the Father, and the strength that I find in Him!! So praise the Lord for a continuation of this revelation of His love and reminders that we are to be rooted and grounded in love!!
The other song is by Cory Asbury "So Good to Me", and it's such a fun song!! The first time I heard this song was a beautiful wedding of an amazing couple, Mark and Margie Howell!! The two of them are an amazing testimony of faith and waiting on the Lord, and well I could go on and on! So thank you Howell's for introducing me to this song!! Here are the words "I waited patiently upon the Lord, and He inclined and heard my cry, He pulled me up out of the miry clay, He set my feet upon the rock, He gave me beauty for ashes, and joy for my mourning, and praise for heaviness, He put a new song in my mouth, and a crown upon my head, and He gave me life forever more....He's been so good, so so good to me, He's been so go, so so good to me, Jesus........He picked me up and turned me around, and He placed my feet on solid ground, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.......now I've got love, joy, peace and righteousness in the Holy Spirit, ooh ooh ooh oooh yeah". Is this not a beautiful song, I encourage you, listening to the song is even better, so go check it out!! God has been so good to me, and I am so thankful that He is EVERYTHING this song talks about so much more!! He's given me love, joy, peace and righteousness!! Right now, the peace part speaks the most to me!! I've been praying for peace as we get ready to enter a new phase in our lives, and He is giving me that because He is faithful!!
As you know, this adoption journey has been a rollercoaster of emotions!! We have raised $12,500 so far, and still have about $13,000 left to go! Jarrod's parents were over here the other day, and dad reminded us that when we started out we had NOTHING!! God has brought us this far, and I know He won't leave us nor forsake us now!! We are about 3-4 weeks away from traveling, although we haven't received our dates yet! We have asked the Lord what we should do next for a fundraiser, and I'll be honest I'm not sure I like the answer. Wait for it......He said do nothing. I figured I didn't hear him right, but Jarrod wasn't getting anything either, arg. So when I was with Mom one day, I asked her to pray and see if the Lord gives anything to her. She said that maybe God doesn't want us to do anything and He wants to provide! I told her what I heard Him say and she told me then I can't do anything, just trust Him! If I try to do this in my own strength, then I am being disobedient! Wow, so I can't do anything! I hold my hands up in surrender, and say "Lord, I am completely trusting You to do this!" Jarrod and I am completely at peace about this, but it is still hard, to sit back and do nothing except pray! And pray diligently, we have been doing, probably more so than ever!! We know the Lord is growing our faith in an entirely new way!! I have moments where my flesh wants to "freak out", but I know that God has us covered! He wants Julia here even more than we do! And there's no way He would have brought us this far just to leave us now! So I am resting in the fact that He is doing this!! I have no clue how, but I'm reminded in Isaiah 55 that His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts, so I am resting in that!!
A beautiful friend emailed me this morning with encouragement and this scripture Psalm 27:14 - "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord." The Amplified Bible reads the beginning and ending of that verse like this: Wait and hope for and EXPECT the Lord. Can I just say I receive that!! We've all heard the saying not to expect too much, so we won't be disappointed. I'll admit I've taken that approach MANY, MANY times!! But the Lord revealed something to me. I'm thinking He will let down my expectations as many people have throughout my life. I'm afraid if I expect Him to love me unconditionally, through all my faults, that He won't. I'm afraid He won't follow through on His words, like so many others haven't.....and so on. My expectancy should ALWAYS be in Him! Even when dealing with others. I expect the Lord to move on my behalf, not the person moving on my behalf!! Even when thinking on my children, I can't control their lives, or their outcomes in life. But I EXPECT the Lord to always be with them, guiding them on the path He has ordained for them! I'm not going to expect them to be perfect, I do know and expect that the Holy Spirit will always be by their side to whisper those words of correction, encouragement and love to them!! So this was right on time!! It brought me to tears when I read the email, as well as the revelation the Lord gave me as I prayed on it!! Thank you Karen for sending me this love and encouragement, and reminder that the Lord is supplying all we need!!
Well, I think I've blabbed, I mean blogged enough!! I have many more things on my heart, but I'll save them for another day!! Be blessed my friends, and I pray that through our journey, that you will see a glimpse of God more and more in your everyday life!!
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