We all have different journeys that our short lives take us on. God has ordained each of our steps that we need to take, and we choose whether to walk in those, or walk away from those! Either decision is not easy! Walking with God is a constant step of faith, and walking away from His perfect plan makes your life a complete hell! I can't imagine not walking with the Lord! With each step I grow more and more in my love for Him and faith in Him! Each step gets harder, but it's so worth it!
I have been thinking a lot about the task set before me, and I smile and cry at the same time! This is the HARDEST thing I've ever walked in (and it's only just begun!!). I've had different things hit me in my life that were hard, but each one seems to be a little harder! I had a short childhood, growing up much faster than others my age bc of illness and a need of me being more responsible. I left home at 18 (maybe not in the best way, but I left), and that was a bold move for me. I walked away briefly from many family members during the preparation for my wedding, bc of lack of love and encouragment. Thank God for reconciliations!! But each of those things were more difficult than the one before them, but I kept pressing on! Not saying they were all things of the Lord, but they were steps that I felt I needed to take at the time! I can't sit and regret things, b/c then I can't move forward. God has taught me from each of these things, and many other things, and I have grown in my walk with Him, and my trust in Him!!
So I feel like I have "stepped out of the boat" so to say, but never like I am now! I know that the Lord imparts faith on people, and He is constantly increasing our faith as we are seeking Him! I honestly feel like Peter right now, about to step out of the boat! Peter didn't know what He was doing, Jesus just told Him to come out to Him, and Peter walked on water! We have no clue what we are doing! We are taking steps that we never have before.
I'll be honest, I am looking down at the water and my faith is wondering how all this is going to happen! We've raised half our funds for the adoption and still have half to go. We have money that we are awaiting to arrive in our account (we know it's coming, that isn't the big faith part). Until that money arrives, we can't buy our plane tickets. We were just told that the $ won't be in our account until next Wednesday, June 27 and we have to fly out on Monday, July 2. So I am "freaking" out a bit and wondering how all this is going to work out. I'm not sure I can purchase these tickets that close to our departure, bc we are getting special humanitarian tickets. So I am crying and wondering, and not sure about anything at this moment!
In addition to this money coming in, we need about $8000 more. So far, a little has come in, but we still have a ways to go! I have no doubt that God has called us to this. I have received numerous words that He is going to do this, but my faith is wondering how?? We are 10 days away from leaving, and so far, we are still STUCK right now. Lord, help me to trust in You, dry my tears, and turn my mourning into laughter. I had a few more things on my heart to write, but the phone call mid-blogging disrupted my thoughts.
Be blessed my friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment