I'm going to start with this evening! I decided that I was going to FINALLY plant the seeds that a friend gave me....oh let's see, probably 2 months ago!! Before doing that though, I wanted to weed the front real good and trim the bushes, which we have a lot of!! So I am pulling and clipping and I came across quite a bit of briars in so many random spots. We've never had these before, but I'm convinced that God put them there for this specific reason! As I am pulling them up, I learned real quickly (I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist) to pull the part right at the ground as to not get pricked, b/c that there hurts!! I was thinking about what I was doing, pulling all the bad and unattractive things away from the front. Also, I warned the kids not to touch those because those would hurt. As I am going through a change of seasons in my life, I feel like God is doing some "gardening in my heart". He is pulling the bad, unattractive, and hurtful things away from me, so that He can replace them with some beautiful seeds to bloom. This takes time and even the "pruning" that He does may hurt. But it was such a sweet thing to experience this. Many of the weeds had some hard deep roots and didn't want to come up, but I had to keep pulling harder and harder and actually cutting some of them. I feel like this is happening in my life.....there are things I don't want to let go of that God is saying to let go of, and He's having to work a little harder for me to realize. Not that God forces us to do anything, He loves us so much that He gives us a choice! But He sure loves us so much and knows what is the absolute best!! So I am going to quite having those roots, and the things that He is weeding out of my life I am going to let go and release to Him.....sigh, deep breath.....this isn't an easy thing. I do have to keep reminding myself that I have released things......especially people. I think this is one of the hardest things to release.....so many times we have friends and family that are such big parts of our lives, but we realize that they are only there for a season.....even with this realization, it often hurts.....but we have to trust God knows best......and HE REALLY DOES! So that was my gardening insight tonight!! I think God has given me a new love for this, for I know He has more to show me as I do it.....and it can be science for my children!!
Okay, back to my morning!! It was a pretty good morning, although I've been a little easily teary eyed the past couple of days.....think it might just be hormones!! My sweet friend, Lori, called and said she had something to drop by and it was a magazine called Above Rubies. She thought it had a few good articles that I would be interested in. Can I just say that God spoke to me in so many ways through these different women's testimonies!! I'm going to share the ones that jumped out at me and spill a little of my heart along with them!! To start off with, these are a few of their comments that they daily leave on facebook, speaking of, I need to add them on there!!
What is our attitude toward children? Even though we love our children we can often be irritated by them. Jesus said "Whoever receives this child in My name receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me" (Luke 9:48). Isn't it amazing that God says the attitude we have towards children is the attitude we have toward Him? And I wonder what God thinks when we don't want to receive His children?" (All I can say is WOW.....I need to work on my attitude a little more towards my children)
Isn't it strange how opposite our culture is to the example Christ set? He said "Let the children come to me" and yet our society continually looks for ways to get the children out of our way. Set the tone by enjoying every child that crosses your path today and in this way you will also be following Christ's example.
Okay, so here were the two that stuck out the most above, but there were many, many more that I really liked!! Okay, next reality...God opened my eyes to realize this, and it was through an article, but I'm not going to share the article, I'm going to share my heart!
When I got pregnant with Jonah, our 3rd child, Hannah was only 5 months old. I had c-sections, so the drs were really concerned about me having another one so close. I let them "scare" me initially, but the Lord really shone through with every detail of the pregnancy and Jonah's birth! I know God has some big plans for him.....for all my children for that matter. With having 3 c-sections, we had to make a decision, and felt pressed too b/c of the drs. We prayed about it and felt at peace about having my tubes tied. I now, so many times, wonder if that peace was merely fear of continuing to have children after so many c-sections, b/c we let the "world" affect us and our thinking. As I sit here I can't help but cry and wish that I could go back and have a "do over" and not have that done. I'm quoting the girl from the article in saying this...."Despite many blessings, there are days I experience overwhelming sadness. I grieve the children I refused to have". I feel this way so often and it took this to realize what exactly I was grieving. I was too focused on my business, my body, our finances, everything except what God wanted for us. I don't beat myself up, but I do grieve. I do believe that God will give us another chance of multiplying by adopting....we don't know yet the time that will take place.....but we both feel it. I sometimes think if I would have had more children, maybe we wouldn't adopt, so that child might not have a home.......but I still grieve for those children that I refused to have......So now that I have been completely transparent and finally "confessed" all this, I can move on.....
I think we so many times get so wrapped up in the "picture" that we see of our lives and what will fit in that picture, and not see what God sees, and His "picture"......God help me to see what You see...
This other lady encouraged me with something she read. You know being a stay at home mom/wife is such a hard job. You lay your life down for others, but what a beautiful picture of Jesus this shows! Sometimes we try to get so busy in ministries and trying to do for the Lord and forgetting that when you have a family, they are to be your FIRST ministry! Here's the statement that she said "If God wants you to be a homemaker, and you spend your days washing dishes and changing dirty diapers, then by fulfilling His plan for your life, you are worshipping God." Today I really had to "lay" my life down once again.....and realize this is what God has called me to do, and it does honor Him that I am fully committed to training my children in the ways of the Lord!
Here are some pictures of the kids......one is waiting on the reptile man....and a few of the kids swimming! My babies have become like fish....the love to swim underwater!! I am so proud of them and their new confidence in swimming and in the water!! Noah's had the confidence for a while, but this is new for Hannah and Jonah....who only a few months ago didn't want their faces wet, lol!! Well, I've had 2 children join me and I hear another approaching my rooms, so I guess I should head off here and get some sleep!!
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