Good evening friends!! I just got the kids to bed and figured I would sit down for a bit and blog! I don't think I've had anyone directly come out and ask me this question, but I've heard others ask....why Ukraine?
Here's our adoption story and how God has put all the pieces together:
A few months ago God spoke to me in an awesome way! Our family was getting ready for church, I was drying my hair and Jarrod was in the shower! As I was drying my hair, God told me that we are going to adopt. We had said it before in passing, but never seriously! My heart starting racing and jumping for joy, but I also realized that I can't be the one to tell Jarrod....it had to be God! When Jarrod got out of the shower, he realized I was all giddy! I told him that God had shared something with me, but I knew that God would have to tell him. He wanted to know, so I told him to which his reply was "Ha, yeah He'll have to tell me!"About 3 weeks later, Jarrod came to me and said, "ok, we are suppossed to adopt."
We started talking about how we want to go about it, and decided that we should adopt here locally because there are so many children here in the United States that need homes. We also wanted to adopt younger children. We wanted Noah to be the oldest, and didn't want to interrupt our birth order. But we also realized it wasn't right now that we are to adopt, so that would give us time to find that child in our age range! I'll be honest and say, I was upset when Jarrod told me now wasn't the time.....I told him if we were pregnant, we'd have a baby.....but He reassured me that God had said it wasn't time.
So we talked with Noah, Hannah and Jonah about adopting these children that don't have families, or a mom and dad. Their hearts became burdened for these forgotten by the world, so we daily began praying for the children that we will adopt! They prayed for them, we prayed for them that God would prepare our hearts as well as the children that we will adopt! This was awesome because the childlike faith is amazing!
In my connections from the past on facebook, I realized that a friend and his family were in the process of adopting some handsome boys from the Ukraine. I messaged him and told him how excited I was and that we would be praying for them, and shared our desire to one day adopt! A few weeks later my friend contacted me to let me know that a ministry that they were involved was bringing a group of orphans from the Ukraine. (This is how they found their boys!) He said he thought Jarrod and I would love being houseparents! All you do is go in and love on them and be parents to them for a few days! We were a little concerned b/c of the language barrier, the children speak Russian. But we prayed and felt like we should move forward!
It turned out that Christmas weekend was the only weekend opened, so we took it! We really didn't know what we were getting in to! We came in completely intimidated, but within a few minutes, we loved all the children! I won't give all the WONDERFUL stories that we have to go along with our time with them, but those may come later! ;) But I will say, our world got turned upside down. We fell in love with a beautiful girl, who God gave us a love for.
We didn't go looking to adopt, in fact, we were completely against adopting older, so we knew we would be "safe" b/c the youngest child in this group was 8. We went just to love on some children and we ourselves learned what love truly is! I'm so excited and honored that God has called us to this. My heart breaks at the thought of ANY child being without a family.....both locally and in other countries. We are all called to different things and the most important is to follow the will of the Father. His will for our family is to adopt this beautiful 13 year old girl, and it has been confirmed in MANY ways! I sometimes find myself questioning whether this is to be (of course quickly realizing it's crazy to question), only to get another confirmation!
Not everyone understands, not everyone agrees, many don't want to talk about it, and if I start on it, I get so excited that it's all I want to talk about! We aren't doing this to please anyone, to get applaud, or for selfish reasons, we are doing this because the Father has turned our hearts to the ones the world has forgotten! My prayer is that we will keep adopting, keep being able to love on these children that need loving. It's not cheap, it's not easy, it's hard, you learn patience.......but it's so worth it! We are only beginning, but God has already been there with us every step of the way, and I know that He will continue to be!
Most that know us, know that we aren't "rich" with worldly things. However, we feel very "rich" with the things of the Lord! We don't have the money to do this, but God does! This has been a very humbling thing. I've always been so independent, and do not like asking for help. But I have to ask for help. But God showed me something really awesome yesterday. We aren't asking for help for us. We are asking others to join in to what the Lord is doing! You are doing the Lord's work when you bring her home, not Jarrod and Amy's! How awesome to be a part of God's work! I'm really overwhelmed at the love that friends and family have poured out on us! The support has been overwhelming, the donations bringing me to tears, and the encouragement wonderful!
See, I seriously could go on and on!! Through all this, God is showing me quite a few things in my life! I'm learning to love my own birth children in a new way, learning who really believes in me and supports me, and unconditional love.....among other things! I'm learning not to defend myself, for there is nothing to defend.....we are following God's plan for us! We can't get ahead of Him, and we can't make things happen!! All of this is out of our hands.....we are COMPLETELY WALKING IN FAITH! A wonderful spiritual growing experience this has become!!
Thanks for listening to our story. We hope that through this we will be able to minister to others, and help others realize the need for what God has called us to "to care for the widows and orphans" James 1:27. We are to be His hands and feet, and He is the Father to the fatherless, so what are we waiting for?? Be blessed my friends!!
My sweet family!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Digging in the past.......
So, beginning this adoption process has been, for the most part, an easy thing! There have been mounds of paperwork, lol!! But we are moving right along, which brings so much joy to our entire family, b/c that means we are one step closer to bringing our daughter home!!
I have to admit, the homestudy, while mostly easy, has some pretty tough things in it! Like these wonderful things called self studies. We have to answer questions about ourselves, like.....what kind of mom are you or would you be.....describe yourself.....what's your role in your home......there was a total of 8 pages of these kinds of questions......which equals NOT EASY! You don't want to pump yourself up to sound like a saint, b/c we all know that no one is......but you don't want to sound like a horrible mom! You have to find that perfect balance! Thank goodness for a WONDERFUL social worker, who interviewed us prior to these, but in simpler form, so we were somewhat prepared for our essay of self studies!!
Then there was the interview about childhood......hmmmm, can we say a little dysfunctional? As I told her a few things, she just sat back. I said, let me tell you my story, then you go from there and type what you need! I told her that I was sorry that I had such a crazy life story, but she said I wasn't alone, that she's had plenty of others with a dysfunctional childhood! Some may know, life wasn't perfect as a child, but then again, who's childhood is perfect!! I'm praying that my children will experience a more stable childhood, and at this point, they have! My children have a mother and father who love them with all their heart and soul! We've dedicated them to the Lord, for they are His, and we've only been allowed a certain amount of time to train them!
Now, I'll go back and say that I was conceived out of wedlock, when my parents were fresh out of high school! I was an uh-oh baby to them, but I was not to my GOD. Some wanted my mom to abort me, one of which was my father (some think I should harbor anger at this, but I have forgiven him just as the Bible instructs us to). My mom chose life, for which I am so grateful for! When I was about 3 or 4 months old, my parents divorced. My mom remarried when I was 4, and my stepdad adopted me. My brother and sister were born a few years later, and life for all of us changed drastically.
With many different sicknesses and diseases, my mom was in and out of the hospital for about the first 8 or 9 years of my brother and sister's lives. So therefore, I stepped up many times to playing the mom role. I ended up leaving home at 18, and it wasn't a good leaving, but I left. I'm now 32, and all I can say is I am thankful that I am not who I was.
I was the good girl, the one that many wanted as their own daughter. The Lord graciously gave me a few spiritual moms, who helped me along life's journey. I also realize I was a major people pleaser.....God's still helping heal me from this!! There's so many things I could say, but I'll just say this.....my childhood wasn't perfect, but I am who I am b/c of many of the things from it. I know what dysfunctional looks like, therefore, I know how to keep my family from it (or at least the things I saw).....I know what divorce looks like and a marriage not unified, therefore I work even harder on my marriage, b/c I know things to keep from........I know how control and manipulation can make a child feel, therefore I will not be this way towards my children.......I know what emotional abuse feels like, therefore I will not abuse my children.
I recently went through an inner healing class and one of the things that we learned is that our parents did the best they could with what they knew.....based on what their parents had taught them. I don't fault anyone, I don't blame anyone. I'm not saying things were easy, in fact, at times they were very hard. The Lord has been so gracious to let me forget many, many things......and if you ask me for specifics, there are very few that I could probably name for you! But I also have realized lately that there is family from my past that harbors much anger and unforgiveness towards me.....and it hurts. Recently I have had many personal attacks in a public forum from a family member that should love me. This is a hard one to swallow, when this person really doesn't know me.....or the person that I am today. They hold on to the past, and can't seem to let it go. I've kinda had it though....so today I emailed (because they cleared stated they didn't want to talk with me) an apology. I have done everything the Father has instructed me to, now it's up to them whether they will harbor bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. I'll be honest.....I not real sure what I am asking forgiveness for other than general hurting of feelings.....but I felt like the Lord said do this. I want to be able to stand before the Father in the end and say that I have done all I can to be found blameless.
I'm not perfect now, and have never been! I'm thankful that the Lord is moving me along in my walk with Him. And just when things start moving forward, the enemy is there to slap me in the face with something else to drag me back. I will not listen to the lies of the enemy that says I am a horrible person. I know that I am a child of the most High King, and I will walk victoriously!
So all this preparing for adoption is bringing up many more things other than the current things. I do believe that God is allowing this to help me to heal and move past the past! I believe that He is showing me things that are still in my heart.....some good and some (honestly) not so good! I have a choice....I can shelve it, like I seem to have done for the past 14 years, or I can face it head on with the Lord and His Word. His Word says that I am new creation in Him, that the enemy has no place over me, and so many, many other things! I'm excited to bring this out, so that I never have to visit this hurt, frustration, anger, pain, belittling again!
I just needed to unload a bit....my heart was hurt today, but I have a wonderful healer named Jesus that is mending it as I write, He is refreshing my heart, and reminding me that I am created in Him. I am His daughter and I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I can also do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!! So who am I to argue with Him.....God created me after all!! I fall, have many times, and will many more times......but He picks me up and I keep trucking!! I boast in my weakness, b/c I am nothing without Christ!
I pray for anyone that is reading this that you will ask God to search your heart....and reveal any hurt, anger, unforgiveness, or unworthiness that you may feel......and that you will release that to Him, and allow Him to heal you....and in turn heal any hurt relationships that you may have in your life. In Jesus name.
Here is another picture of our beautiful family! I realized that my blog is about 5 faithful Thorpes.....I might need to change the title.....or keep it up, b/c one day I believe that we will have 5 children or more!! For now it's 4, and that makes my heart jump for joy! One more tidbit.....our sweet girl has been sick and in the hospital. I sat our children down last night and talked with them about it, and how we really need to pray for her......this is their sister and our daughter, just like they are our children. They all individually prayed for her, and it was so genuine and loving, and it blessed me so much more than I can fully put in to words. They already see her as their sister and love her as such.....they are all ready for her to come home, and so are we! Good night!
I have to admit, the homestudy, while mostly easy, has some pretty tough things in it! Like these wonderful things called self studies. We have to answer questions about ourselves, like.....what kind of mom are you or would you be.....describe yourself.....what's your role in your home......there was a total of 8 pages of these kinds of questions......which equals NOT EASY! You don't want to pump yourself up to sound like a saint, b/c we all know that no one is......but you don't want to sound like a horrible mom! You have to find that perfect balance! Thank goodness for a WONDERFUL social worker, who interviewed us prior to these, but in simpler form, so we were somewhat prepared for our essay of self studies!!
Then there was the interview about childhood......hmmmm, can we say a little dysfunctional? As I told her a few things, she just sat back. I said, let me tell you my story, then you go from there and type what you need! I told her that I was sorry that I had such a crazy life story, but she said I wasn't alone, that she's had plenty of others with a dysfunctional childhood! Some may know, life wasn't perfect as a child, but then again, who's childhood is perfect!! I'm praying that my children will experience a more stable childhood, and at this point, they have! My children have a mother and father who love them with all their heart and soul! We've dedicated them to the Lord, for they are His, and we've only been allowed a certain amount of time to train them!
Now, I'll go back and say that I was conceived out of wedlock, when my parents were fresh out of high school! I was an uh-oh baby to them, but I was not to my GOD. Some wanted my mom to abort me, one of which was my father (some think I should harbor anger at this, but I have forgiven him just as the Bible instructs us to). My mom chose life, for which I am so grateful for! When I was about 3 or 4 months old, my parents divorced. My mom remarried when I was 4, and my stepdad adopted me. My brother and sister were born a few years later, and life for all of us changed drastically.
With many different sicknesses and diseases, my mom was in and out of the hospital for about the first 8 or 9 years of my brother and sister's lives. So therefore, I stepped up many times to playing the mom role. I ended up leaving home at 18, and it wasn't a good leaving, but I left. I'm now 32, and all I can say is I am thankful that I am not who I was.
I was the good girl, the one that many wanted as their own daughter. The Lord graciously gave me a few spiritual moms, who helped me along life's journey. I also realize I was a major people pleaser.....God's still helping heal me from this!! There's so many things I could say, but I'll just say this.....my childhood wasn't perfect, but I am who I am b/c of many of the things from it. I know what dysfunctional looks like, therefore, I know how to keep my family from it (or at least the things I saw).....I know what divorce looks like and a marriage not unified, therefore I work even harder on my marriage, b/c I know things to keep from........I know how control and manipulation can make a child feel, therefore I will not be this way towards my children.......I know what emotional abuse feels like, therefore I will not abuse my children.
I recently went through an inner healing class and one of the things that we learned is that our parents did the best they could with what they knew.....based on what their parents had taught them. I don't fault anyone, I don't blame anyone. I'm not saying things were easy, in fact, at times they were very hard. The Lord has been so gracious to let me forget many, many things......and if you ask me for specifics, there are very few that I could probably name for you! But I also have realized lately that there is family from my past that harbors much anger and unforgiveness towards me.....and it hurts. Recently I have had many personal attacks in a public forum from a family member that should love me. This is a hard one to swallow, when this person really doesn't know me.....or the person that I am today. They hold on to the past, and can't seem to let it go. I've kinda had it though....so today I emailed (because they cleared stated they didn't want to talk with me) an apology. I have done everything the Father has instructed me to, now it's up to them whether they will harbor bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. I'll be honest.....I not real sure what I am asking forgiveness for other than general hurting of feelings.....but I felt like the Lord said do this. I want to be able to stand before the Father in the end and say that I have done all I can to be found blameless.
I'm not perfect now, and have never been! I'm thankful that the Lord is moving me along in my walk with Him. And just when things start moving forward, the enemy is there to slap me in the face with something else to drag me back. I will not listen to the lies of the enemy that says I am a horrible person. I know that I am a child of the most High King, and I will walk victoriously!
So all this preparing for adoption is bringing up many more things other than the current things. I do believe that God is allowing this to help me to heal and move past the past! I believe that He is showing me things that are still in my heart.....some good and some (honestly) not so good! I have a choice....I can shelve it, like I seem to have done for the past 14 years, or I can face it head on with the Lord and His Word. His Word says that I am new creation in Him, that the enemy has no place over me, and so many, many other things! I'm excited to bring this out, so that I never have to visit this hurt, frustration, anger, pain, belittling again!
I just needed to unload a bit....my heart was hurt today, but I have a wonderful healer named Jesus that is mending it as I write, He is refreshing my heart, and reminding me that I am created in Him. I am His daughter and I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I can also do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!! So who am I to argue with Him.....God created me after all!! I fall, have many times, and will many more times......but He picks me up and I keep trucking!! I boast in my weakness, b/c I am nothing without Christ!
I pray for anyone that is reading this that you will ask God to search your heart....and reveal any hurt, anger, unforgiveness, or unworthiness that you may feel......and that you will release that to Him, and allow Him to heal you....and in turn heal any hurt relationships that you may have in your life. In Jesus name.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The battle is raging........
Good evening friends!! I realized that I needed to update life in adoption, so here we go! My title is "The battle is raging", it's from a favorite worship song around here! When you decide to adopt is a battle! Currently, things are going good, but we also realize how very ticked off the devil is at us!
A couple of weeks ago, we were given an answer to one of the most important questions ever in our life! While the children were here at Christmas, or better yet we were there with them, we fell in love with one very special 13 year old! We knew she shared the love, but we didn't know if she wanted to be in our family! When she was asked, she said that she really likes us, and I am the mom that she would want, but she wanted to think on it. We were COMPLETELY at peace about this, b/c we've learned the hard way not to jump in a decision, so here this sweet girl wants to take her time. This is a big decision.....going to join a family that already has 3 children, small children at that!
We did get to spend a little more time with her, even going to the airport to see all the children off. To say this was one of the hardest things is a major understatement! We felt like we were putting our daughter on the plane, yet she hadn't even said yes yet! Many tears were cried, some of the most were by our daughter Hannah, who is only 5. She didn't understand why the children had to leave, and didn't want them too! She brought a few of the adults to tears! After saying goodbye, we headed home and immediately began the homestudy process.
This was definetely an act of faith....see, we need around $25,000 to bring her home to us, and it's broken down in many ways! The day that we found out she said yes, we had $300 come in! A huge blessing! Our first homestudy appointment we were to pay $800, and at that point we had only raised $425, so we had to fork out the other! Now, let me add, we don't have a lot of money! Jarrod had just gotten paid, and we felt that we were to go ahead with this, and trust that God would send the money, although we needed to pay bills with the extra $375 that we spent! So we did it, and the next week was a real test. I cried out to the Lord and asked Him if we got ahead of ourselves. Should we have waited until financially things were better for us? Should we have gotten things better in order for us to begin the expensive adoption process? When I shared my concerns with Jarrod, he said yes we are to adopt! I had no doubt in my mind, just wondered if we went too soon. But then, more money came in, some very generous, very unexpected sources gave us money. I cried at this sight of God's faithfulness. God has so far provided $2425 to us, and that's what we've needed to get some of the things done so far! (well some are in the next few weeks, but it's here!)
This is something completely out of my controlling hands, which I never should have anyway. God is completely in control of this situation, and that's a load off!! We've had 2 homestudy appointments, and both went great. We have an amazing social worker, and we are very appreciative of that! Our final homestudy appointment will be in our home in a little over a week, and then it will be finalized and God willing......approved! Then we'll move on to our next step! This is so exciting!
We get to talk with our daughter occassionally, although the language is different and we can't understand a whole lot.....usually I love you, I miss you, How are you! But we also get to talk with an interpreter sometimes, so of course then we have more in depth conversations! A friend recently told me that she is so excited and this is so exciting, and how fun, etc! I have to admit, this is VERY EXCITING, but it also has it's moments! When I received the email that she is in the hospital part of the orphanage, my heart sank, b/c I can't be there to take care of her. You know, as a mom, when your child is sick, you want to do anything you can to take care of them, but I can't here! I can't hug her and kiss her goodnight, have those daily moments with her right now! I know those are coming, but for the next few months they aren't here. Not just that, but this is a battle. We are saving a life that the enemy has marked as destroyed......the devil is majorly ticked off at us! I'm not complaining, we realize we are fighting, but this is not an all rosey thing, it's a MAJOR answer to the call that God has placed on the church. I am not in any way lifting us up, we just decided to answer the call, and are praying that through us doing this, that more will rise up and answer that call......it's AMAZING to be obedient to the voice of the Lord!
I appreciate all the prayers and support that we have recieved! Not all will agree with this, but that's okay, we don't do this for man's approval, we are answering the call of the Lord! I even wonder how in the world do I parent a teenage daughter, but God's hand is on us now, and it always will be as long as we are seeking Him! So this part, He'll guide us on! God is amazing us with His faithfulness, and although yes, we are being blessed with another daughter, and that in itself is wonderful, the spiritual level that the Lord is taking us to, is an overwhelming one! We are excited to take these steps of faith, and even more excited that with every step the Lord is there to hold our hands, even when we fall!
These have always been favorite Bible verses for me Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." This is being taken to a whole new level in our lives right now! Be blessed all, and thank you for the continued prayer and financial support!
A couple of weeks ago, we were given an answer to one of the most important questions ever in our life! While the children were here at Christmas, or better yet we were there with them, we fell in love with one very special 13 year old! We knew she shared the love, but we didn't know if she wanted to be in our family! When she was asked, she said that she really likes us, and I am the mom that she would want, but she wanted to think on it. We were COMPLETELY at peace about this, b/c we've learned the hard way not to jump in a decision, so here this sweet girl wants to take her time. This is a big decision.....going to join a family that already has 3 children, small children at that!
We did get to spend a little more time with her, even going to the airport to see all the children off. To say this was one of the hardest things is a major understatement! We felt like we were putting our daughter on the plane, yet she hadn't even said yes yet! Many tears were cried, some of the most were by our daughter Hannah, who is only 5. She didn't understand why the children had to leave, and didn't want them too! She brought a few of the adults to tears! After saying goodbye, we headed home and immediately began the homestudy process.
This was definetely an act of faith....see, we need around $25,000 to bring her home to us, and it's broken down in many ways! The day that we found out she said yes, we had $300 come in! A huge blessing! Our first homestudy appointment we were to pay $800, and at that point we had only raised $425, so we had to fork out the other! Now, let me add, we don't have a lot of money! Jarrod had just gotten paid, and we felt that we were to go ahead with this, and trust that God would send the money, although we needed to pay bills with the extra $375 that we spent! So we did it, and the next week was a real test. I cried out to the Lord and asked Him if we got ahead of ourselves. Should we have waited until financially things were better for us? Should we have gotten things better in order for us to begin the expensive adoption process? When I shared my concerns with Jarrod, he said yes we are to adopt! I had no doubt in my mind, just wondered if we went too soon. But then, more money came in, some very generous, very unexpected sources gave us money. I cried at this sight of God's faithfulness. God has so far provided $2425 to us, and that's what we've needed to get some of the things done so far! (well some are in the next few weeks, but it's here!)
This is something completely out of my controlling hands, which I never should have anyway. God is completely in control of this situation, and that's a load off!! We've had 2 homestudy appointments, and both went great. We have an amazing social worker, and we are very appreciative of that! Our final homestudy appointment will be in our home in a little over a week, and then it will be finalized and God willing......approved! Then we'll move on to our next step! This is so exciting!
We get to talk with our daughter occassionally, although the language is different and we can't understand a whole lot.....usually I love you, I miss you, How are you! But we also get to talk with an interpreter sometimes, so of course then we have more in depth conversations! A friend recently told me that she is so excited and this is so exciting, and how fun, etc! I have to admit, this is VERY EXCITING, but it also has it's moments! When I received the email that she is in the hospital part of the orphanage, my heart sank, b/c I can't be there to take care of her. You know, as a mom, when your child is sick, you want to do anything you can to take care of them, but I can't here! I can't hug her and kiss her goodnight, have those daily moments with her right now! I know those are coming, but for the next few months they aren't here. Not just that, but this is a battle. We are saving a life that the enemy has marked as destroyed......the devil is majorly ticked off at us! I'm not complaining, we realize we are fighting, but this is not an all rosey thing, it's a MAJOR answer to the call that God has placed on the church. I am not in any way lifting us up, we just decided to answer the call, and are praying that through us doing this, that more will rise up and answer that call......it's AMAZING to be obedient to the voice of the Lord!
I appreciate all the prayers and support that we have recieved! Not all will agree with this, but that's okay, we don't do this for man's approval, we are answering the call of the Lord! I even wonder how in the world do I parent a teenage daughter, but God's hand is on us now, and it always will be as long as we are seeking Him! So this part, He'll guide us on! God is amazing us with His faithfulness, and although yes, we are being blessed with another daughter, and that in itself is wonderful, the spiritual level that the Lord is taking us to, is an overwhelming one! We are excited to take these steps of faith, and even more excited that with every step the Lord is there to hold our hands, even when we fall!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
James 1:27
Good evening friends! It's been a while since I have blogged, and I felt it was time again! We've had a whirlwind of activity here at the Thorpe household.....and I have to admit it's been great! There have been times of tears, and times of joy, but we feel the presence of the Lord in a whole new way!
Let me take you back to the beginning! Back in November my friend Bill told us about this awesome group in Alabama, called Bridges of Faith, that brings orphans here from the Ukraine to offer them a cultural experience. Different families come in and houseparent them and just love on them, and have fun with them. No big deal, right? They don't speak English, but Russian. So this was a little intimidating at first!
I have to admit, we weren't real sure what we were getting ourselves into. We set up a time to go and houseparent and it turned out the only time that was open on our schedule and theirs was Christmas weekend. We had to pray about this, but thought what better way to spend Christmas than to be the hands and feet of Jesus! So we did it! We arrived Friday night Dec 23rd and were to leave some point Monday Dec 26th. The first night we probably had the deer caught in the headlights look!! We didn't know what in the world we were doing, or how we would be able to communicate. We did have interpreters, but still! Here we were staring at 9 beautiful children from the Ukraine. We got everyone settled down for bed since it was getting late and we headed to bed ourselves!
The next 2 days were amazing! We were hosted at 2 different homes on Christmas eve and Christmas day, and we were blessed! We began developing relationships with these children. We were both ready to take all 9 children home with us at that point! I'm going to back up a bit here! Jarrod and I both know we are called to adopt......but, we felt like it was for the future AND we thought it would be a younger child, like our own children's ages. The oldest child in this group was 15 and the youngest 8. Needless to say, God turned our lives around.
We prepared to leave Monday, but no houseparents showed up, so we stayed another night.....falling more and more in love with each of these children! Tuesday we had to go b/c Jarrod had to work later that day, so as we pulled out of the driveway, Jarrod broke down weeping. I have to say in our 9 years together, I have NEVER seen him do this. The Lord did a work in our lives that weekend, but He really moved in Jarrod's heart! Things worked out and about an hour into the drive we were able to turn around and go back! This was awesome b/c Jarrod was able to give his testimony! So we spent another 2 days with them, then had to head back to reality! (I'm leaving out many, many details, but they may come later!!)
We made 2 more trips to Alabama while the group was there, and the Lord revealed more and more of His heart to us, and about our family. More on that later! This was no short trip, this was a 3.5 hr drive one way, so making 2 more of those trips was kinda crazy! But it was so worth it! These children had a place in our hearts, each of them in their own way!
I remember when I was pregnant with Hannah; Noah was 2. I remember crying to a friend wondering how I could ever love another child as much as I loved Noah. I knew I would, but would it be different? But I did! Then I had Jonah, and the love just continued! Although I have 3 birth children, I realize that I have room in my heart to love MANY more children......9 of them being this group of orphans from the Ukraine! It's amazing to see the heart of the Father, and to want to walk in it!
I'll be honest, it saddens me to see the church as a whole, not walking out what the Father considers pure and undefiled religion. We have a responsibility to take care of orphans and widows. It doesn't say when our children are older or grown, it doesn't say if we can't have children or don't have children, it doesn't say if we aren't rich, it doesn't say only young couples......James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
Why is this so difficult? This doesn't exempt anyone....we are all called to walk out James 1:27. There are plenty of ways to walk it out.....it could be adopting those families that are adopting by taking a meal, financially helping them, babysitting, etc. It could be joining with some ministries that help care for orphans and widows and that help them find homes, families! What are you doing to help bring James 1:27 to life?
We are all so pationate about so many things, and the Lord gives us a special gift and heart for the things He has called us to. Jarrod and I have found our calling.....to work with orphans. The Lord has begun laying a plan on our hearts. It may not come to life for many, many years, but then again, it could be next year! We will be the voice for the ones that the Lord hasn't forgotten, the ones near and dear to His heart. I look forward to being able to share what God is going to do, and how He will use the Thorpe family. Our cry a few months ago was "Here am I, Lord send me." Well, we are ready and He is sending us!
We are preparing for battle, b/c we are fighting for these lives, to save them. The enemy doesn't like this, he wants these beautiful children to end up in a life of darkness. But we are here, armed to fight. We know it won't be easy, but our God promised to never leave us nor forsake us, so here we go. Please join with us in prayer as we begin this battle of loving the Fatherless, and awakening the church to the Lord's hearts for the orphans and widows.
Here is a picture of the group that we consider a part of our family! This was our first group doing this, so we know they will always hold a special place in our hearts! Some of them we will get to see again soon, and that excites ALL of us more than I could ever explain!! The morning this picture was taken was when we were leaving to go home, but everyone made sure to get up and send us off with lots of hugs and I love you's!! In this picture is myself, Vova (in front on me), Julia, Tanya, Vika, Hannah, Jarrod, Ruslan, Jonah, Zhenya (very front camo), Danil, Nastia, Katya, and Karina (all behind Zhenya). Each one holds a piece of our hearts!
I have to add one more little tid bit! Through this experience I gained so much respect for my children. Noah is 7, Hannah is 5, and Jonah is 3. They very much need their mommy, b/c they are so small and need help often! They were so giving during the time we spent with these children. If one of the Ukrainian children needed something, my children so selflessly let me go and take care of them. They never once fussed b/c I had to take care of someone else! This made my heart smile so much, b/c that means they have a glimpse of the Father's heart for these beautiful children! A proud mom I am b/c of this!
Let me take you back to the beginning! Back in November my friend Bill told us about this awesome group in Alabama, called Bridges of Faith, that brings orphans here from the Ukraine to offer them a cultural experience. Different families come in and houseparent them and just love on them, and have fun with them. No big deal, right? They don't speak English, but Russian. So this was a little intimidating at first!
I have to admit, we weren't real sure what we were getting ourselves into. We set up a time to go and houseparent and it turned out the only time that was open on our schedule and theirs was Christmas weekend. We had to pray about this, but thought what better way to spend Christmas than to be the hands and feet of Jesus! So we did it! We arrived Friday night Dec 23rd and were to leave some point Monday Dec 26th. The first night we probably had the deer caught in the headlights look!! We didn't know what in the world we were doing, or how we would be able to communicate. We did have interpreters, but still! Here we were staring at 9 beautiful children from the Ukraine. We got everyone settled down for bed since it was getting late and we headed to bed ourselves!
The next 2 days were amazing! We were hosted at 2 different homes on Christmas eve and Christmas day, and we were blessed! We began developing relationships with these children. We were both ready to take all 9 children home with us at that point! I'm going to back up a bit here! Jarrod and I both know we are called to adopt......but, we felt like it was for the future AND we thought it would be a younger child, like our own children's ages. The oldest child in this group was 15 and the youngest 8. Needless to say, God turned our lives around.
We prepared to leave Monday, but no houseparents showed up, so we stayed another night.....falling more and more in love with each of these children! Tuesday we had to go b/c Jarrod had to work later that day, so as we pulled out of the driveway, Jarrod broke down weeping. I have to say in our 9 years together, I have NEVER seen him do this. The Lord did a work in our lives that weekend, but He really moved in Jarrod's heart! Things worked out and about an hour into the drive we were able to turn around and go back! This was awesome b/c Jarrod was able to give his testimony! So we spent another 2 days with them, then had to head back to reality! (I'm leaving out many, many details, but they may come later!!)
We made 2 more trips to Alabama while the group was there, and the Lord revealed more and more of His heart to us, and about our family. More on that later! This was no short trip, this was a 3.5 hr drive one way, so making 2 more of those trips was kinda crazy! But it was so worth it! These children had a place in our hearts, each of them in their own way!
I remember when I was pregnant with Hannah; Noah was 2. I remember crying to a friend wondering how I could ever love another child as much as I loved Noah. I knew I would, but would it be different? But I did! Then I had Jonah, and the love just continued! Although I have 3 birth children, I realize that I have room in my heart to love MANY more children......9 of them being this group of orphans from the Ukraine! It's amazing to see the heart of the Father, and to want to walk in it!
I'll be honest, it saddens me to see the church as a whole, not walking out what the Father considers pure and undefiled religion. We have a responsibility to take care of orphans and widows. It doesn't say when our children are older or grown, it doesn't say if we can't have children or don't have children, it doesn't say if we aren't rich, it doesn't say only young couples......James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
Why is this so difficult? This doesn't exempt anyone....we are all called to walk out James 1:27. There are plenty of ways to walk it out.....it could be adopting those families that are adopting by taking a meal, financially helping them, babysitting, etc. It could be joining with some ministries that help care for orphans and widows and that help them find homes, families! What are you doing to help bring James 1:27 to life?
We are all so pationate about so many things, and the Lord gives us a special gift and heart for the things He has called us to. Jarrod and I have found our calling.....to work with orphans. The Lord has begun laying a plan on our hearts. It may not come to life for many, many years, but then again, it could be next year! We will be the voice for the ones that the Lord hasn't forgotten, the ones near and dear to His heart. I look forward to being able to share what God is going to do, and how He will use the Thorpe family. Our cry a few months ago was "Here am I, Lord send me." Well, we are ready and He is sending us!
We are preparing for battle, b/c we are fighting for these lives, to save them. The enemy doesn't like this, he wants these beautiful children to end up in a life of darkness. But we are here, armed to fight. We know it won't be easy, but our God promised to never leave us nor forsake us, so here we go. Please join with us in prayer as we begin this battle of loving the Fatherless, and awakening the church to the Lord's hearts for the orphans and widows.
I have to add one more little tid bit! Through this experience I gained so much respect for my children. Noah is 7, Hannah is 5, and Jonah is 3. They very much need their mommy, b/c they are so small and need help often! They were so giving during the time we spent with these children. If one of the Ukrainian children needed something, my children so selflessly let me go and take care of them. They never once fussed b/c I had to take care of someone else! This made my heart smile so much, b/c that means they have a glimpse of the Father's heart for these beautiful children! A proud mom I am b/c of this!
Monday, October 24, 2011
I am so thankful.......
Good evening friends! I am sitting here in a quiet house.....all the kiddos are sleeping and Jarrod got called back out to work, so here I am, all alone!! I'm exhausted, yet refreshed from God's presence!!
This weekend was a wonderful weekend, filled with cleaning, family, birthday party, church, worship, fellowship with friends, grilling out and ordering pizza!! Life doesn't get much better than that!!
We had some guests come over after church on Sunday, and it was quite delightful!! Not only did we get to bless and fellowship, but the Lord sent them with a word for us too, well, quite a few words and boy was it encouraging!!
Upon arriving, I gave the grand tour of our home, showing the kitchen, my bedroom, the kids bedrooms, living room, school room, dining!! We worked hard on Saturday cleaning it, so I was quite pleased about that, lol!! After a great visit for a few hours, everyone departed and we got the kids to bed and Jarrod and I stayed up talking about the days events.
Then the Lord revealed something to me. As I was showing our house, I was almost ashamed that we don't have an actual house, we have a town house. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way, except that I have let others influence what I think I "should" have. Wow, forgive me Father for being unappreciative. I am very fond of our house, in fact, it's HOME, and it's quite cozy! It is plenty big for us at the moment, and often remember that the Lord knows our needs before we even do! Who says I need a huge house, it would only be more to clean!!
As the children were playing out back today, I was thinking about all the things my backyard has been.....a ball field, a track, a battlefield, a house, a pool, and so many other things that my wonderful children and their imaginations have made it! No it's not the huge backyard that I one day long for, but it's mine!!
Our hearts have shifted in our wants!! We want for our next home a small farm so that we can have a garden, some cows, chickens, and whatever else God puts on our hearts! Mainly so we can provide the needs for our family within our own home! But......all that, God put on our heart, so why do I need to rush it? God knows the perfect place that we need to be!
We sit between two elderly couples (both probably in their 80's), who we constantly talk with, laugh with, and help out! I never thought I would speak this way to an elderly man, but I had to tell my neighbor to let go of his trash can so that Noah could walk it to the street for him! He didn't need to walk out there! I asked him if anyone had ever talked to him that way, and he said as a matter of fact, no! I told him it's a good thing that he loves me!! :)
So I know, if nothing else, that God has us here for these two couples!! So I had to do some repenting for not being content and letting what others have said make me think the same thing!! (and quite a few others have told me that I NEED bigger house!!). I really think it'll be funny if God has us adopt while we are still here!!
And just so none are worried.....it's a 3 bedroom townhouse, the size of a freestanding home....only we don't have to do yardwork, lol!! That is provided!!
So I am counting all my blessings this evening, and I know that I am the daughter of the Most High King, and He meets all my needs according to His riches in glory!! He knows my desires and my needs, and He has the perfect things for me! But I am to learn to be content in whatever state I am!!
So I encourage you.....no matter what voids might be in your life right now, and some have many, many voids.....I encourage you to look at what you DO HAVE, instead of what you do not have! Thank the Father for all that He has blessed you with and trust that He has your best interest in mind! In fact, God has me in Matthew lately, and He took me to Matthew 7:9-11 "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" WOW.....that's all I can say!! God gives great gifts, and knows when we need them!! Be blessed my friend!!
My wonderful family on our trip to the Apple Orchard!!
This weekend was a wonderful weekend, filled with cleaning, family, birthday party, church, worship, fellowship with friends, grilling out and ordering pizza!! Life doesn't get much better than that!!
We had some guests come over after church on Sunday, and it was quite delightful!! Not only did we get to bless and fellowship, but the Lord sent them with a word for us too, well, quite a few words and boy was it encouraging!!
Upon arriving, I gave the grand tour of our home, showing the kitchen, my bedroom, the kids bedrooms, living room, school room, dining!! We worked hard on Saturday cleaning it, so I was quite pleased about that, lol!! After a great visit for a few hours, everyone departed and we got the kids to bed and Jarrod and I stayed up talking about the days events.
Then the Lord revealed something to me. As I was showing our house, I was almost ashamed that we don't have an actual house, we have a town house. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way, except that I have let others influence what I think I "should" have. Wow, forgive me Father for being unappreciative. I am very fond of our house, in fact, it's HOME, and it's quite cozy! It is plenty big for us at the moment, and often remember that the Lord knows our needs before we even do! Who says I need a huge house, it would only be more to clean!!
As the children were playing out back today, I was thinking about all the things my backyard has been.....a ball field, a track, a battlefield, a house, a pool, and so many other things that my wonderful children and their imaginations have made it! No it's not the huge backyard that I one day long for, but it's mine!!
Our hearts have shifted in our wants!! We want for our next home a small farm so that we can have a garden, some cows, chickens, and whatever else God puts on our hearts! Mainly so we can provide the needs for our family within our own home! But......all that, God put on our heart, so why do I need to rush it? God knows the perfect place that we need to be!
We sit between two elderly couples (both probably in their 80's), who we constantly talk with, laugh with, and help out! I never thought I would speak this way to an elderly man, but I had to tell my neighbor to let go of his trash can so that Noah could walk it to the street for him! He didn't need to walk out there! I asked him if anyone had ever talked to him that way, and he said as a matter of fact, no! I told him it's a good thing that he loves me!! :)
So I know, if nothing else, that God has us here for these two couples!! So I had to do some repenting for not being content and letting what others have said make me think the same thing!! (and quite a few others have told me that I NEED bigger house!!). I really think it'll be funny if God has us adopt while we are still here!!
And just so none are worried.....it's a 3 bedroom townhouse, the size of a freestanding home....only we don't have to do yardwork, lol!! That is provided!!
So I am counting all my blessings this evening, and I know that I am the daughter of the Most High King, and He meets all my needs according to His riches in glory!! He knows my desires and my needs, and He has the perfect things for me! But I am to learn to be content in whatever state I am!!
My wonderful family on our trip to the Apple Orchard!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Security.....
Good afternoon my friends!! It is very quiet in my house right now.....the children are napping and the rain is falling outside, I LOVE IT!!
God gave me a little revelation last week and I've been trying to put my thoughts together to write this blog!! Not planning on being long winded, but who knows, lol!! I received this while cleaning a house! When I am cleaning, I am alone and the customer isn't home. So what better time to spend talking with the Father! Even though it's work, it's quite relaxing to me, b/c I can actually talk with Him (interruption free) and hear Him! Not that I can't at other times, but there's something about being away from my home and my callings and being somewhere else!! Okay, that said, here goes......
We attend a wonderful church, Southside Christian Fellowship! It's not a perfect church, but then again, there is no perfect church! Everyone/every place has flaws and things to be improved, but that's the beautiful thing....God's not finished with us yet! And by the way, we are the church, not a building! A couple of years ago, Jarrod and I took over the children's ministry. This was definetely from the Lord and His leading! While we have made some changes, I do often long for more, but also trusting in His timing. Do I feel we are doing everything right, by golly no way! But we are diligently trying to seek the Lord on how to run His children's ministry at this church! Okay, sorry, completely bunny trailed there, didn't mean to do that, but guess it was on my heart! Onto the real thing....
We have been at the church for at least 8 years, but Jarrod has been longer, so needless to say our children have grown up here! They should be used to going, right? They should be used to going to class, right? After all, sometimes we are in there with them, we are up there probably more than some are......But they are not always happy about going to class. They have all gone through this, it seems at the age of 3 & 4. Some days they will go in class fine without any kicking and screaming; some days....ummmm, not so much! Sometimes it depends on the teachers, other times they would do it no matter who is in there. With us being in the position that we are, this is really frustrating and rather embarrassing. After all, I should control my children, right? HAHAHAHA, and really not let them be children and express emotion right? I often times find myself apologizing, when in reality I shouldn't, b/c they are just that, CHILDREN! We have handled the "fits" so to say in various ways....we have disciplined them, let them stay in church with us, or dragged them in the class kicking and screaming (yes, I mean literally) and left them there (rest assured, they always calm down).
As some know, I have started homeschooling my children this year. So the question comes to mind, am I with them too much that when I leave them they act this way? Well, I have no other problem with them when leaving them with friends, so I really don't feel this is the answer. Last week God showed me about the security that they have in me. They are, in no way, in danger or a bad situation at church, but maybe they need to be with me. Jarrod recently read a book that talked about the Holy Spirit in them is no younger than the Holy Spirit in us....there is no age on the Spirit! Maybe they need to be sitting in church. Now the way that they communicate this to us is the reason for discipline in the past. We have talked to them about talking with us, not screaming, etc to get the point across to us! Would it be easier for me to focus if they are in class, absolutely, but there is a reason that they want to sit with me and Jarrod.......they feel SECURE.
You know that thing everyone talks about, Childlike Faith. Well, this secure thing, we should grab a hold of it, like our children often do. We are to rest securly in Christ's arms, right? But so many times, we carry burdens that He NEVER meant for us to carry, yet we still do. I'm going to be very transparent here, and tell you a burden that I carry way more than I should.....I think I need to carry the burden of finances. Now yes, everyone has to budget and plan, and we all have decisions to make regarding how we spend God's money (yes, I just said God's money....He provides the jobs that we all carry, and it's His money). We are faithful in tithing (ok, we sometimes fail here, but we have a gracious God), so His word says in Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So why do I carry this, do I not rest securely in Him that He will provide?
Okay, so now that I have been a bit transparent, I want to share another scripture that God revealed today. I wanted to find scripture on being secure, but I hadn't looked up any yet! I knew what I wanted to write, but needed the scripture! Deuteronomy 33:12 says "About Benjamin he said: 'Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders." We are to rest secure in Him, and rest on Him......wow, He's got us covered.
I have a new appreciation for the children wanting to be with me and me being their security......b/c it's a picture of what my walk with the Lord should be like. I need Him and want Him beside me every step that I take, I am only secure when He is with me. So be encouraged, He wants you to rest securely in Him, it blesses Him... He designed us to need Him. Run to Him.....rest in His security! Be blessed my friend!!
The picture is from a recent mini photo shoot we did with the children! Here they ran to me knowing that in me that they would find security.....I love this picture!
God gave me a little revelation last week and I've been trying to put my thoughts together to write this blog!! Not planning on being long winded, but who knows, lol!! I received this while cleaning a house! When I am cleaning, I am alone and the customer isn't home. So what better time to spend talking with the Father! Even though it's work, it's quite relaxing to me, b/c I can actually talk with Him (interruption free) and hear Him! Not that I can't at other times, but there's something about being away from my home and my callings and being somewhere else!! Okay, that said, here goes......
We attend a wonderful church, Southside Christian Fellowship! It's not a perfect church, but then again, there is no perfect church! Everyone/every place has flaws and things to be improved, but that's the beautiful thing....God's not finished with us yet! And by the way, we are the church, not a building! A couple of years ago, Jarrod and I took over the children's ministry. This was definetely from the Lord and His leading! While we have made some changes, I do often long for more, but also trusting in His timing. Do I feel we are doing everything right, by golly no way! But we are diligently trying to seek the Lord on how to run His children's ministry at this church! Okay, sorry, completely bunny trailed there, didn't mean to do that, but guess it was on my heart! Onto the real thing....
We have been at the church for at least 8 years, but Jarrod has been longer, so needless to say our children have grown up here! They should be used to going, right? They should be used to going to class, right? After all, sometimes we are in there with them, we are up there probably more than some are......But they are not always happy about going to class. They have all gone through this, it seems at the age of 3 & 4. Some days they will go in class fine without any kicking and screaming; some days....ummmm, not so much! Sometimes it depends on the teachers, other times they would do it no matter who is in there. With us being in the position that we are, this is really frustrating and rather embarrassing. After all, I should control my children, right? HAHAHAHA, and really not let them be children and express emotion right? I often times find myself apologizing, when in reality I shouldn't, b/c they are just that, CHILDREN! We have handled the "fits" so to say in various ways....we have disciplined them, let them stay in church with us, or dragged them in the class kicking and screaming (yes, I mean literally) and left them there (rest assured, they always calm down).
As some know, I have started homeschooling my children this year. So the question comes to mind, am I with them too much that when I leave them they act this way? Well, I have no other problem with them when leaving them with friends, so I really don't feel this is the answer. Last week God showed me about the security that they have in me. They are, in no way, in danger or a bad situation at church, but maybe they need to be with me. Jarrod recently read a book that talked about the Holy Spirit in them is no younger than the Holy Spirit in us....there is no age on the Spirit! Maybe they need to be sitting in church. Now the way that they communicate this to us is the reason for discipline in the past. We have talked to them about talking with us, not screaming, etc to get the point across to us! Would it be easier for me to focus if they are in class, absolutely, but there is a reason that they want to sit with me and Jarrod.......they feel SECURE.
You know that thing everyone talks about, Childlike Faith. Well, this secure thing, we should grab a hold of it, like our children often do. We are to rest securly in Christ's arms, right? But so many times, we carry burdens that He NEVER meant for us to carry, yet we still do. I'm going to be very transparent here, and tell you a burden that I carry way more than I should.....I think I need to carry the burden of finances. Now yes, everyone has to budget and plan, and we all have decisions to make regarding how we spend God's money (yes, I just said God's money....He provides the jobs that we all carry, and it's His money). We are faithful in tithing (ok, we sometimes fail here, but we have a gracious God), so His word says in Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So why do I carry this, do I not rest securely in Him that He will provide?
Okay, so now that I have been a bit transparent, I want to share another scripture that God revealed today. I wanted to find scripture on being secure, but I hadn't looked up any yet! I knew what I wanted to write, but needed the scripture! Deuteronomy 33:12 says "About Benjamin he said: 'Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders." We are to rest secure in Him, and rest on Him......wow, He's got us covered.
The picture is from a recent mini photo shoot we did with the children! Here they ran to me knowing that in me that they would find security.....I love this picture!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Matthew 5:37......
Good evening my friends!! I hope this blog finds everyone well!! I sometimes feel when I write that I am back in the old days writing back home to some family or friends that I am far away from! I really do miss the days of letters or cards. I used to send them often and LOVED getting them in the mail.....hmmmm, maybe I should start that again!! I've been meaning to write for a while, but haven't had much time! So here I am, children are all tucked in their bed and fast asleep at 8pm, Jarrod is working late, and I have a quite and somewhat clean house to myself!
I've had a lot on my mind lately and praying about what exactly I need to blog about, and what better thing to talk about than the thing that God is working on me with!! Hmmmm, being transparent maybe will help someone else through it, not sure, but I'm going to be transparent!
If you know me personally, you know my heart and love for helping others. I LOVE people, and I want to do so many things to help them. In fact, so many times I lay aside my personal feelings/exhaustedness/whatever other emotions to cater to others. So the other day I asked the Lord how much is too much. What if I give all of myself to others that I have none left for me, or even for me to spend time with Him. This is really a tough one, b/c we are supposed to have a servant's heart, right?
Well today, Matthew 5:37 came to me "But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No' be 'No'. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." I have read this over and over and I have told my children this several times over and over, lol!! In that people can turn it into much condemnation towards others. Sometimes we are quick to speak, which the Bible warns us about doing, and don't think about the answer we should be giving, or seek the Lord for that answer. Many of times I have had to change my answer to my children b/c I answered before really thinking about what I answering yes too......(like maybe, "Mom, can I go and crack some eggs for you". Me not thinking, sure honey, and as I hear the first egg crack, I think 'oh crap, what did I just tell them?')....So therefore, sometimes we do have to change our answers sometimes. And there are other times where our circumstances may change, so we have to change a yes answer to a no.....(ex. maybe I was to go to dinner with a girlfriend, but Jarrod has to work late last minute, so plans had to change!)..
But today, God revealed this to me in a new way. What if I tell someone yes that I will do something for them, but deep in my heart the answer is no. I really don't want to do it, but I really want to help that person, so I answer yes, b/c I know it will bless them (and this is a BIG lesson in my home lately). So what is my true answer? Hmmmmm, makes you think, right? (ok, sorry, think I am using hmmmmm too much, lol!). A friend helped me understand that with all my willingness to help others is really seeking to please people. Ouch, that truth hurt there. I am seeking to please people. I have such a giving heart, but something else God revealed to me today kinda hurt. I am trying to save different people from things in their life, almost being their saviour. Oooohhhhh, that stinks. There is only one Saviour and that is our Lord Jesus Christ, so who am I to think that I can do that for others.
Now I know that God has given me a love for people, but that doesn't mean that I have to do absolutely everything that they ask of me. Wow, really God, why haven't I realized this before! So many times in my life, b/c I have such a giving heart, I have been majorly taken advantage of! I remember this one time in high school, a friend of mine wrote a note from a teacher to get her boyfriend out of class, as a matter of fact is was 2 notes. When she got caught, she asked me if I would take the blame for one of those notes. I agreed, b/c I wanted her to like me and I didn't think it was too bad. I ended up with detention and having to write an essay, but the principal (who was a family friend) never really thought I did it.....he knew that I wouldn't. So can someone please tell me why in the world I would take the blame? Crazy, huh......So I have had my fair share of getting run over!!
So now, I am having to learn my limits and balance my life. I am in a new season of my life, which I love more than I ever could have thought possible. I am embracing the very things that God has blessed me with, and although it's not all peachy, I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars! The past month of so I have had much chaos in my life, some self induced and some by trying to help others. It has truly interrupted my homeschooling days, and while I know there will be some interruptions, I am trying to decide how much we truly need. It seems the minute I got our chore packs written for the children to do each morning before school, we'll get going for a few days, then something will happen and it will take almost a week to get back on track! Seems kinda crazy how all that works, but it really turns my world upside down!
I want to be used for ministry and however/whatever ways that God sees fit, but my FIRST ministry is to Him, My Husband, and My Children. I seemed to have misplaced that order somewhere along the past few weeks, but I am going to get it straight! I am confessing all this to first off, get it off my chest, and second off to hopefully to have some accountability to learn when to say yes and when to say no!
I once read a devotion that talks about all the good things that there is a chance for us to do. It's learning to look at all those 'good' things and asking God what would be the 'best' for us to do. So many things might be the best, but not at that particular season in our life! I am a person that when I get passionate about something, I run after it full force with so much zeal, b/c that is what is on my heart. So when I am running at 100 different things, I am not truly putting my best into anything that I am doing. When I work, I want to do it as unto the Lord, but I can't give my 100% if I am exhausted from all the responsiblities that I've obligated myself to!
Okay, well I think I've been long winded enough! I pray that this will encourage someone out there and maybe shed some light on something someone else might be going through!! Be encouraged if you are overwhelmed, sit before the Lord and ask Him what His perfect plan is for your life, what all should be on your plate and what should be removed. He loves you so much and has plans for your life, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. And I want to leave you with this last scripture, Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me"......what an awesome thing! Be blessed dear child of God! (leaving you with a picture of the loves of my life, and my wonderful blessings from above!)
I've had a lot on my mind lately and praying about what exactly I need to blog about, and what better thing to talk about than the thing that God is working on me with!! Hmmmm, being transparent maybe will help someone else through it, not sure, but I'm going to be transparent!
If you know me personally, you know my heart and love for helping others. I LOVE people, and I want to do so many things to help them. In fact, so many times I lay aside my personal feelings/exhaustedness/whatever other emotions to cater to others. So the other day I asked the Lord how much is too much. What if I give all of myself to others that I have none left for me, or even for me to spend time with Him. This is really a tough one, b/c we are supposed to have a servant's heart, right?
Well today, Matthew 5:37 came to me "But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No' be 'No'. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." I have read this over and over and I have told my children this several times over and over, lol!! In that people can turn it into much condemnation towards others. Sometimes we are quick to speak, which the Bible warns us about doing, and don't think about the answer we should be giving, or seek the Lord for that answer. Many of times I have had to change my answer to my children b/c I answered before really thinking about what I answering yes too......(like maybe, "Mom, can I go and crack some eggs for you". Me not thinking, sure honey, and as I hear the first egg crack, I think 'oh crap, what did I just tell them?')....So therefore, sometimes we do have to change our answers sometimes. And there are other times where our circumstances may change, so we have to change a yes answer to a no.....(ex. maybe I was to go to dinner with a girlfriend, but Jarrod has to work late last minute, so plans had to change!)..
But today, God revealed this to me in a new way. What if I tell someone yes that I will do something for them, but deep in my heart the answer is no. I really don't want to do it, but I really want to help that person, so I answer yes, b/c I know it will bless them (and this is a BIG lesson in my home lately). So what is my true answer? Hmmmmm, makes you think, right? (ok, sorry, think I am using hmmmmm too much, lol!). A friend helped me understand that with all my willingness to help others is really seeking to please people. Ouch, that truth hurt there. I am seeking to please people. I have such a giving heart, but something else God revealed to me today kinda hurt. I am trying to save different people from things in their life, almost being their saviour. Oooohhhhh, that stinks. There is only one Saviour and that is our Lord Jesus Christ, so who am I to think that I can do that for others.
Now I know that God has given me a love for people, but that doesn't mean that I have to do absolutely everything that they ask of me. Wow, really God, why haven't I realized this before! So many times in my life, b/c I have such a giving heart, I have been majorly taken advantage of! I remember this one time in high school, a friend of mine wrote a note from a teacher to get her boyfriend out of class, as a matter of fact is was 2 notes. When she got caught, she asked me if I would take the blame for one of those notes. I agreed, b/c I wanted her to like me and I didn't think it was too bad. I ended up with detention and having to write an essay, but the principal (who was a family friend) never really thought I did it.....he knew that I wouldn't. So can someone please tell me why in the world I would take the blame? Crazy, huh......So I have had my fair share of getting run over!!
So now, I am having to learn my limits and balance my life. I am in a new season of my life, which I love more than I ever could have thought possible. I am embracing the very things that God has blessed me with, and although it's not all peachy, I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars! The past month of so I have had much chaos in my life, some self induced and some by trying to help others. It has truly interrupted my homeschooling days, and while I know there will be some interruptions, I am trying to decide how much we truly need. It seems the minute I got our chore packs written for the children to do each morning before school, we'll get going for a few days, then something will happen and it will take almost a week to get back on track! Seems kinda crazy how all that works, but it really turns my world upside down!
I want to be used for ministry and however/whatever ways that God sees fit, but my FIRST ministry is to Him, My Husband, and My Children. I seemed to have misplaced that order somewhere along the past few weeks, but I am going to get it straight! I am confessing all this to first off, get it off my chest, and second off to hopefully to have some accountability to learn when to say yes and when to say no!
I once read a devotion that talks about all the good things that there is a chance for us to do. It's learning to look at all those 'good' things and asking God what would be the 'best' for us to do. So many things might be the best, but not at that particular season in our life! I am a person that when I get passionate about something, I run after it full force with so much zeal, b/c that is what is on my heart. So when I am running at 100 different things, I am not truly putting my best into anything that I am doing. When I work, I want to do it as unto the Lord, but I can't give my 100% if I am exhausted from all the responsiblities that I've obligated myself to!
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