The battle is raging........

Good evening friends!! I realized that I needed to update life in adoption, so here we go! My title is "The battle is raging", it's from a favorite worship song around here! When you decide to adopt is a battle! Currently, things are going good, but we also realize how very ticked off the devil is at us!

A couple of weeks ago, we were given an answer to one of the most important questions ever in our life! While the children were here at Christmas, or better yet we were there with them, we fell in love with one very special 13 year old! We knew she shared the love, but we didn't know if she wanted to be in our family! When she was asked, she said that she really likes us, and I am the mom that she would want, but she wanted to think on it. We were COMPLETELY at peace about this, b/c we've learned the hard way not to jump in a decision, so here this sweet girl wants to take her time. This is a big decision.....going to join a family that already has 3 children, small children at that!

We did get to spend a little more time with her, even going to the airport to see all the children off. To say this was one of the hardest things is a major understatement! We felt like we were putting our daughter on the plane, yet she hadn't even said yes yet! Many tears were cried, some of the most were by our daughter Hannah, who is only 5. She didn't understand why the children had to leave, and didn't want them too! She brought a few of the adults to tears! After saying goodbye, we headed home and immediately began the homestudy process.

This was definetely an act of faith....see, we need around $25,000 to bring her home to us, and it's broken down in many ways! The day that we found out she said yes, we had $300 come in! A huge blessing! Our first homestudy appointment we were to pay $800, and at that point we had only raised $425, so we had to fork out the other! Now, let me add, we don't have a lot of money! Jarrod had just gotten paid, and we felt that we were to go ahead with this, and trust that God would send the money, although we needed to pay bills with the extra $375 that we spent! So we did it, and the next week was a real test. I cried out to the Lord and asked Him if we got ahead of ourselves. Should we have waited until financially things were better for us? Should we have gotten things better in order for us to begin the expensive adoption process? When I shared my concerns with Jarrod, he said yes we are to adopt! I had no doubt in my mind, just wondered if we went too soon. But then, more money came in, some very generous, very unexpected sources gave us money. I cried at this sight of God's faithfulness. God has so far provided $2425 to us, and that's what we've needed to get some of the things done so far! (well some are in the next few weeks, but it's here!)

This is something completely out of my controlling hands, which I never should have anyway. God is completely in control of this situation, and that's a load off!! We've had 2 homestudy appointments, and both went great. We have an amazing social worker, and we are very appreciative of that! Our final homestudy appointment will be in our home in a little over a week, and then it will be finalized and God willing......approved! Then we'll move on to our next step! This is so exciting!

We get to talk with our daughter occassionally, although the language is different and we can't understand a whole lot.....usually I love you, I miss you, How are you! But we also get to talk with an interpreter sometimes, so of course then we have more in depth conversations! A friend recently told me that she is so excited and this is so exciting, and how fun, etc! I have to admit, this is VERY EXCITING, but it also has it's moments! When I received the email that she is in the hospital part of the orphanage, my heart sank, b/c I can't be there to take care of her. You know, as a mom, when your child is sick, you want to do anything you can to take care of them, but I can't here! I can't hug her and kiss her goodnight, have those daily moments with her right now! I know those are coming, but for the next few months they aren't here. Not just that, but this is a battle. We are saving a life that the enemy has marked as destroyed......the devil is majorly ticked off at us! I'm not complaining, we realize we are fighting, but this is not an all rosey thing, it's a MAJOR answer to the call that God has placed on the church. I am not in any way lifting us up, we just decided to answer the call, and are praying that through us doing this, that more will rise up and answer that call......it's AMAZING to be obedient to the voice of the Lord!

I appreciate all the prayers and support that we have recieved! Not all will agree with this, but that's okay, we don't do this for man's approval, we are answering the call of the Lord! I even wonder how in the world do I parent a teenage daughter, but God's hand is on us now, and it always will be as long as we are seeking Him! So this part, He'll guide us on! God is amazing us with His faithfulness, and although yes, we are being blessed with another daughter, and that in itself is wonderful, the spiritual level that the Lord is taking us to, is an overwhelming one! We are excited to take these steps of faith, and even more excited that with every step the Lord is there to hold our hands, even when we fall!

These have always been favorite Bible verses for me Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." This is being taken to a whole new level in our lives right now! Be blessed all, and thank you for the continued prayer and financial support!

James 1:27

Good evening friends! It's been a while since I have blogged, and I felt it was time again! We've had a whirlwind of activity here at the Thorpe household.....and I have to admit it's been great! There have been times of tears, and times of joy, but we feel the presence of the Lord in a whole new way!

Let me take you back to the beginning! Back in November my friend Bill told us about this awesome group in Alabama, called Bridges of Faith, that brings orphans here from the Ukraine to offer them a cultural experience. Different families come in and houseparent them and just love on them, and have fun with them. No big deal, right? They don't speak English, but Russian. So this was a little intimidating at first!

I have to admit, we weren't real sure what we were getting ourselves into. We set up a time to go and houseparent and it turned out the only time that was open on our schedule and theirs was Christmas weekend. We had to pray about this, but thought what better way to spend Christmas than to be the hands and feet of Jesus! So we did it! We arrived Friday night Dec 23rd and were to leave some point Monday Dec 26th. The first night we probably had the deer caught in the headlights look!! We didn't know what in the world we were doing, or how we would be able to communicate. We did have interpreters, but still! Here we were staring at 9 beautiful children from the Ukraine. We got everyone settled down for bed since it was getting late and we headed to bed ourselves!

The next 2 days were amazing! We were hosted at 2 different homes on Christmas eve and Christmas day, and we were blessed! We began developing relationships with these children. We were both ready to take all 9 children home with us at that point! I'm going to back up a bit here! Jarrod and I both know we are called to adopt......but, we felt like it was for the future AND we thought it would be a younger child, like our own children's ages. The oldest child in this group was 15 and the youngest 8. Needless to say, God turned our lives around.

We prepared to leave Monday, but no houseparents showed up, so we stayed another night.....falling more and more in love with each of these children! Tuesday we had to go b/c Jarrod had to work later that day, so as we pulled out of the driveway, Jarrod broke down weeping. I have to say in our 9 years together, I have NEVER seen him do this. The Lord did a work in our lives that weekend, but He really moved in Jarrod's heart! Things worked out and about an hour into the drive we were able to turn around and go back! This was awesome b/c Jarrod was able to give his testimony! So we spent another 2 days with them, then had to head back to reality! (I'm leaving out many, many details, but they may come later!!)

We made 2 more trips to Alabama while the group was there, and the Lord revealed more and more of His heart to us, and about our family. More on that later! This was no short trip, this was a 3.5 hr drive one way, so making 2 more of those trips was kinda crazy! But it was so worth it! These children had a place in our hearts, each of them in their own way!

I remember when I was pregnant with Hannah; Noah was 2. I remember crying to a friend wondering how I could ever love another child as much as I loved Noah. I knew I would, but would it be different? But I did! Then I had Jonah, and the love just continued! Although I have 3 birth children, I realize that I have room in my heart to love MANY more children......9 of them being this group of orphans from the Ukraine! It's amazing to see the heart of the Father, and to want to walk in it!

I'll be honest, it saddens me to see the church as a whole, not walking out what the Father considers pure and undefiled religion. We have a responsibility to take care of orphans and widows. It doesn't say when our children are older or grown, it doesn't say if we can't have children or don't have children, it doesn't say if we aren't rich, it doesn't say only young couples......James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

Why is this so difficult? This doesn't exempt anyone....we are all called to walk out James 1:27. There are plenty of ways to walk it out.....it could be adopting those families that are adopting by taking a meal, financially helping them, babysitting, etc. It could be joining with some ministries that help care for orphans and widows and that help them find homes, families! What are you doing to help bring James 1:27 to life?

We are all so pationate about so many things, and the Lord gives us a special gift and heart for the things He has called us to. Jarrod and I have found our calling.....to work with orphans. The Lord has begun laying a plan on our hearts. It may not come to life for many, many years, but then again, it could be next year! We will be the voice for the ones that the Lord hasn't forgotten, the ones near and dear to His heart. I look forward to being able to share what God is going to do, and how He will use the Thorpe family. Our cry a few months ago was "Here am I, Lord send me." Well, we are ready and He is sending us!

We are preparing for battle, b/c we are fighting for these lives, to save them. The enemy doesn't like this, he wants these beautiful children to end up in a life of darkness. But we are here, armed to fight. We know it won't be easy, but our God promised to never leave us nor forsake us, so here we go. Please join with us in prayer as we begin this battle of loving the Fatherless, and awakening the church to the Lord's hearts for the orphans and widows.

Here is a picture of the group that we consider a part of our family! This was our first group doing this, so we know they will always hold a special place in our hearts! Some of them we will get to see again soon, and that excites ALL of us more than I could ever explain!! The morning this picture was taken was when we were leaving to go home, but everyone made sure to get up and send us off with lots of hugs and I love you's!! In this picture is myself, Vova (in front on me), Julia, Tanya, Vika, Hannah, Jarrod, Ruslan, Jonah, Zhenya (very front camo), Danil, Nastia, Katya, and Karina (all behind Zhenya). Each one holds a piece of our hearts!

I have to add one more little tid bit! Through this experience I gained so much respect for my children. Noah is 7, Hannah is 5, and Jonah is 3. They very much need their mommy, b/c they are so small and need help often! They were so giving during the time we spent with these children. If one of the Ukrainian children needed something, my children so selflessly let me go and take care of them. They never once fussed b/c I had to take care of someone else! This made my heart smile so much, b/c that means they have a glimpse of the Father's heart for these beautiful children! A proud mom I am b/c of this!

I am so thankful.......

Good evening friends! I am sitting here in a quiet house.....all the kiddos are sleeping and Jarrod got called back out to work, so here I am, all alone!! I'm exhausted, yet refreshed from God's presence!!

This weekend was a wonderful weekend, filled with cleaning, family, birthday party, church, worship, fellowship with friends, grilling out and ordering pizza!! Life doesn't get much better than that!!

We had some guests come over after church on Sunday, and it was quite delightful!! Not only did we get to bless and fellowship, but the Lord sent them with a word for us too, well, quite a few words and boy was it encouraging!!

Upon arriving, I gave the grand tour of our home, showing the kitchen, my bedroom, the kids bedrooms, living room, school room, dining!! We worked hard on Saturday cleaning it, so I was quite pleased about that, lol!! After a great visit for a few hours, everyone departed and we got the kids to bed and  Jarrod and I stayed up talking about the days events.

Then the Lord revealed something to me. As I was showing our house, I was almost ashamed that we don't have an actual house, we have a town house. I'm not quite sure why I feel this way, except that I have let others influence what I think I "should" have. Wow, forgive me Father for being unappreciative. I am very fond of our house, in fact, it's HOME, and it's quite cozy! It is plenty big for us at the moment, and often remember that the Lord knows our needs before we even do! Who says I need a huge house, it would only be more to clean!!

As the children were playing out back today, I was thinking about all the things my backyard has been.....a ball field, a track, a battlefield, a house, a pool, and so many other things that my wonderful children and their imaginations have made it! No it's not the huge backyard that I one day long for, but it's mine!!

Our hearts have shifted in our wants!! We want for our next home a small farm so that we can have a garden, some cows, chickens, and whatever else God puts on our hearts! Mainly so we can provide the needs for our family within our own home! But......all that, God put on our heart, so why do I need to rush it? God knows the perfect place that we need to be!

We sit between two elderly couples (both probably in their 80's), who we constantly talk with, laugh with, and help out! I never thought I would speak this way to an elderly man, but I had to tell my neighbor to let go of his trash can so that Noah could walk it to the street for him! He didn't need to walk out there! I asked him if anyone had ever talked to him that way, and he said as a matter of fact, no! I told him it's a good thing that he loves me!! :)

So I know, if nothing else, that God has us here for these two couples!! So I had to do some repenting for not being content and letting what others have said make me think the same thing!! (and quite a few others have told me that I NEED  bigger house!!). I really think it'll be funny if God has us adopt while we are still here!!

And just so none are worried.....it's a 3 bedroom townhouse, the size of a freestanding home....only we don't have to do yardwork, lol!! That is provided!!

So I am counting all my blessings this evening, and I know that I am the daughter of the Most High King, and He meets all my needs according to His riches in glory!! He knows my desires and my needs, and He has the perfect things for me! But I am to learn to be content in whatever state I am!!

So I encourage you.....no matter what voids might be in your life right now, and some have many, many voids.....I encourage you to look at what you DO HAVE, instead of what you do not have! Thank the Father for all that He has blessed you with and trust that He has your best interest in mind! In fact, God has me in Matthew lately, and He took me to Matthew 7:9-11 "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" WOW.....that's all I can say!! God gives great gifts, and knows when we need them!! Be blessed my friend!!

My wonderful family on our trip to the Apple Orchard!!

Security.....

Good afternoon my friends!! It is very quiet in my house right now.....the children are napping and the rain is falling outside, I LOVE IT!!

God gave me a little revelation last week and I've been trying to put my thoughts together to write this blog!! Not planning on being long winded, but who knows, lol!! I received this while cleaning a house! When I am cleaning, I am alone and the customer isn't home. So what better time to spend talking with the Father! Even though it's work, it's quite relaxing to me, b/c I can actually talk with Him (interruption free) and hear Him! Not that I can't at other times, but there's something about being away from my home and my callings and being somewhere else!! Okay, that said, here goes......

We attend a wonderful church, Southside Christian Fellowship! It's not a perfect church, but then again, there is no perfect church! Everyone/every place has flaws and things to be improved, but that's the beautiful thing....God's not finished with us yet! And by the way, we are the church, not a building! A couple of years ago, Jarrod and I took over the children's ministry. This was definetely from the Lord and His leading! While we have made some changes, I do often long for more, but also trusting in His timing. Do I feel we are doing everything right, by golly no way! But we are diligently trying to seek the Lord on how to run His children's ministry at this church! Okay, sorry, completely bunny trailed there, didn't mean to do that, but guess it was on my heart! Onto the real thing....

We have been at the church for at least 8 years, but Jarrod has been longer, so needless to say our children have grown up here! They should be used to going, right? They should be used to going to class, right? After all, sometimes we are in there with them, we are up there probably more than some are......But they are not always happy about going to class. They have all gone through this, it seems at the age of 3 & 4. Some days they will go in class fine without any kicking and screaming; some days....ummmm, not so much! Sometimes it depends on the teachers, other times they would do it no matter who is in there. With us being in the position that we are, this is really frustrating and rather embarrassing. After all, I should control my children, right? HAHAHAHA, and really not let them be children and express emotion right? I often times find myself apologizing, when in reality I shouldn't, b/c they are just that, CHILDREN! We have handled the "fits" so to say in various ways....we have disciplined them, let them stay in church with us, or dragged them in the class kicking and screaming (yes, I mean literally) and left them there (rest assured, they always calm down).

As some know, I have started homeschooling my children this year. So the question comes to mind, am I with them too much that when I leave them they act this way? Well, I have no other problem with them when leaving them with friends, so I really don't feel this is the answer. Last week God showed me about the security that they have in me. They are, in no way, in danger or a bad situation at church, but maybe they need to be with me. Jarrod recently read a book that talked about the Holy Spirit in them is no younger than the Holy Spirit in us....there is no age on the Spirit! Maybe they need to be sitting in church. Now the way that they communicate this to us is the reason for discipline in the past. We have talked to them about talking with us, not screaming, etc to get the point across to us! Would it be easier for me to focus if they are in class, absolutely, but there is a reason that they want to sit with me and Jarrod.......they feel SECURE.

You know that thing everyone talks about, Childlike Faith. Well, this secure thing, we should grab a hold of it, like our children often do. We are to rest securly in Christ's arms, right? But so many times, we carry burdens that He NEVER meant for us to carry, yet we still do. I'm going to be very transparent here, and tell you a burden that I carry way more than I should.....I think I need to carry the burden of finances. Now yes, everyone has to budget and plan, and we all have decisions to make regarding how we spend God's money (yes, I just said God's money....He provides the jobs that we all carry, and it's His money). We are faithful in tithing (ok, we sometimes fail here, but we have a gracious God), so His word says in Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So why do I carry this, do I not rest securely in Him that He will provide?

Okay, so now that I have been a bit transparent, I want to share another scripture that God revealed today. I wanted to find scripture on being secure, but I hadn't looked up any yet! I knew what I wanted to write, but needed the scripture! Deuteronomy 33:12 says "About Benjamin he said: 'Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders." We are to rest secure in Him, and rest on Him......wow, He's got us covered.

I have a new appreciation for the children wanting to be with me and me being their security......b/c it's a picture of what my walk with the Lord should be like. I need Him and want Him beside me every step that I take, I am only secure when He is with me. So be encouraged, He wants you to rest securely in Him, it blesses Him... He designed us to need Him. Run to Him.....rest in His security! Be blessed my friend!!

The picture is from a recent mini photo shoot we did with the children! Here they ran to me knowing that in me that they would find security.....I love this picture!

Matthew 5:37......

Good evening my friends!! I hope this blog finds everyone well!! I sometimes feel when I write that I am back in the old days writing back home to some family or friends that I am far away from! I really do miss the days of letters or cards. I used to send them often and LOVED getting them in the mail.....hmmmm, maybe I should start that again!! I've been meaning to write for a while, but haven't had much time! So here I am, children are all tucked in their bed and fast asleep at 8pm, Jarrod is working late, and I have a quite and somewhat clean house to myself!

I've had a lot on my mind lately and praying about what exactly I need to blog about, and what better thing to talk about than the thing that God is working on me with!! Hmmmm, being transparent maybe will help someone else through it, not sure, but I'm going to be transparent!

If you know me personally, you know my heart and love for helping others. I LOVE people, and I want to do so many things to help them. In fact, so many times I lay aside my personal feelings/exhaustedness/whatever other emotions to cater to others. So the other day I asked the Lord how much is too much. What if I give all of myself to others that I have none left for me, or even for me to spend time with Him. This is really a tough one, b/c we are supposed to have a servant's heart, right?

Well today, Matthew 5:37 came to me "But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No' be 'No'. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." I have read this over and over and I have told my children this several times over and over, lol!! In that people can turn it into much condemnation towards others. Sometimes we are quick to speak, which the Bible warns us about doing, and don't think about the answer we should be giving, or seek the Lord for that answer. Many of times I have had to change my answer to my children b/c I answered before really thinking about what I answering yes too......(like maybe, "Mom, can I go and crack some eggs for you". Me not thinking, sure honey, and as I hear the first egg crack, I think 'oh crap, what did I just tell them?')....So therefore, sometimes we do have to change our answers sometimes. And there are other times where our circumstances may change, so we have to change a yes answer to a no.....(ex. maybe I was to go to dinner with a girlfriend, but Jarrod has to work late last minute, so plans had to change!)..

But today, God revealed this to me in a new way. What if I tell someone yes that I will do something for them, but deep in my heart the answer is no. I really don't want to do it, but I really want to help that person, so I answer yes, b/c I know it will bless them (and this is a BIG lesson in my home lately). So what is my true answer? Hmmmmm, makes you think, right? (ok, sorry, think I am using hmmmmm too much, lol!). A friend helped me understand that with all my willingness to help others is really seeking to please people. Ouch, that truth hurt there. I am seeking to please people. I have such a giving heart, but something else God revealed to me today kinda hurt. I am trying to save different people from things in their life, almost being their saviour. Oooohhhhh, that stinks. There is only one Saviour and that is our Lord Jesus Christ, so who am I to think that I can do that for others.

Now I know that God has given me a love for people, but that doesn't mean that I have to do absolutely everything that they ask of me. Wow, really God, why haven't I realized this before! So many times in my life, b/c I have such a giving heart, I have been majorly taken advantage of! I remember this one time in high school, a friend of mine wrote a note from a teacher to get her boyfriend out of class, as a matter of fact is was 2 notes. When she got caught, she asked me if I would take the blame for one of those notes. I agreed, b/c I wanted her to like me and I didn't think it was too bad. I ended up with detention and having to write an essay, but the principal (who was a family friend) never really thought I did it.....he knew that I wouldn't. So can someone please tell me why in the world I would take the blame? Crazy, huh......So I have had my fair share of getting run over!!

So now, I am having to learn my limits and balance my life. I am in a new season of my life, which I love more than I ever could have thought possible. I am embracing the very things that God has blessed me with, and although it's not all peachy, I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars! The past month of so I have had much chaos in my life, some self induced and some by trying to help others. It has truly interrupted my homeschooling days, and while I know there will be some interruptions, I am trying to decide how much we truly need. It seems the minute I got our chore packs written for the children to do each morning before school, we'll get going for a few days, then something will happen and it will take almost a week to get back on track! Seems kinda crazy how all that works, but it really turns my world upside down!

I want to be used for ministry and however/whatever ways that God sees fit, but my FIRST ministry is to Him, My Husband, and My Children. I seemed to have misplaced that order somewhere along the past few weeks, but I am going to get it straight! I am confessing all this to first off, get it off my chest, and second off to hopefully to have some accountability to learn when to say yes and when to say no!

I once read a devotion that talks about all the good things that there is a chance for us to do. It's learning to look at all those 'good' things and asking God what would be the 'best' for us to do. So many things might be the best, but not at that particular season in our life! I am a person that when I get passionate about something, I run after it full force with so much zeal, b/c that is what is on my heart. So when I am running at 100 different things, I am not truly putting my best into anything that I am doing. When I work, I want to do it as unto the Lord, but I can't give my 100% if I am exhausted from all the responsiblities that I've obligated myself to!

Okay, well I think I've been long winded enough! I pray that this will encourage someone out there and maybe shed some light on something someone else might be going through!! Be encouraged if you are overwhelmed, sit before the Lord and ask Him what His perfect plan is for your life, what all should be on your plate and what should be removed. He loves you so much and has plans for your life, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. And I want to leave you with this last scripture, Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me"......what an awesome thing! Be blessed dear child of God! (leaving you with a picture of the loves of my life, and my wonderful blessings from above!)

Adoption........and why my heart is here!!

Good evening dear friends! Hope everyone is resting in the love and grace of abiding in God's presence!! Today has been a great day!! Church this morning, followed by an afternoon of rest, then playing in the yard (loving this weather) and now the babies are down I can blog and write my heart!! I'm just loving this season that God has me in with being a full time mommy!! I had a hard time at first transitioning in, but now, I know what God created me for!!

A few months ago, as we were getting ready for church God spoke to my heart very clearly that we are suppossed to adopt. As I sat there, I thought "Yes Lord, I'm on board, but you have to tell Jarrod, it won't be me that convinces him". When Jarrod came in the room a few moments later, I said with excitement that God has just shared something with me, but told God that he had tell Jarrod. Then I told him about adoption. His response was "Yeah, God will have to tell me that one, b/c I'm just not sure". So I let it lie and just prayed. About 3 weeks later Jarrod came to me and said "Ok, God told me that we are to adopt". So I was so ecstatic, but know that it has to be in God's timing, not mine....although I am terribly ready!! Shortly after that our conversation turned into talking about a children's home......but more about that later, God's doing some things on that one!!

A few weeks ago, a friend let me borrow a book "The Spirit of Adoption" by Randy and Kelsey Bohlender. Now I already knew that we are to adopt, but Lori and Virgil both told me that this book will tear me up......and boy did it! See, what this couple has done is amazing and they are walking in Kingdom, they are bringing heaven to earth by hearing the Father's heart for these children. I don't want to write an entire book about the book, I recommend b/c it's a great book, but I want to put a few things that really stood out to me!

Psalm 127: 4 says "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth." When in battle, you use arrows, and they can go father than you can go, when they are properly released. When you train a child in the ways of the Lord, he/she will be as an arrow and go out in the world and spread the word....the word that you have trained them in. Wow, do you know how many people we can reach with our children and teaching them walk in abiding love with Christ.

I'll be honest, I used to think that people that had a lot of children were pretty crazy....why would they want that headache? But now, I am ready to trade in my car for a 15 passenger van and train my children for His kingdom. The Bible also says that children are a blessing from the Lord, they are a reward. Why would we not want a great reward. The more children that we have, whether birthed or adopted, we extend our influence beyond the seventy-some years that most people spend on this earth. We reach generations way beyond ours, b/c what we train our children in, our children will train theirs, and so on......We will change the world.

There is so much other stuff I can share about the book, but I highly recommend getting the book and reading it....it will bless you! The song comes to mind that we recently sang at church, they lyrics go...."I am royalty, I have destiny, I have been set free, I'm gonna shape history". I want more children to love on and give a home and I want to shape history....for His glory! So here is my heart!! After reading the book, I decided to look at DHR's website at the foster children in the system and my heart broke even more......the siblings, special needs, teenagers, young children.....all of them.......wanting someone to love them and accept them as they are. After seeing quite a few teenagers, I realized some of my heart for wanting so badly to adopt! So here is the short version of why........

When I was conceived, my parents were not married. They were just 18, having just graduated high school. Several family members, including my dad, wanted my mom to abort me. But she didn't want to do that, praise the Lord, He had/has some big plans for my life!! So they got married, only to divorce when I was about 4 months old. I don't fault them, they shouldn't have gotten married just b/c of being pregnant, of course, they shouldn't have gotten pregnant outside of marriage either. But the word says that He knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb, so praise God, He had a perfect plan!

My mom got married a second time to my stepfather, who adopted me. To this day, I haven't asked the reason for this. I have forgiven my birth father (both for not "wanting" me in the beginning as well as letting another man raise me), as the Bible says to "Forgive others so that you may be forgiven", and I have a relationship with him. My children know him as their grandfather. God can restore relationships!

Through various trials and life, my mom and I have drifted apart in relationship (that's another BOOK for another time, my whole life is a book!), and while I love her, we can't have a normal relationship. We talk occassionally, but it's not what I hope that my daughter and I will have. And please don't judge or think that I am not respectful of my parents, I fully respect. I also allow the Spirit to guide me in my boundaries!

Because of these odd relationships with my parents I don't fully have a place to call home. I have a small hometown that I came from, and that I love to go back to. When we do travel back to Alabama, it's a toss up of two aunts for who we will stay with. The problem sometimes is that I feel like we inconveince them when we come. It's not just me, it's my family of 5. We always have a great time, but I know everyone gets exhausted when we come.... I have 3 full of life children. This is sometimes very hard that I have NO place to fully call home....to go back to.....

As I was looking over the DHR list and picture profiles, I saw numerous teenagers about to turn 18 and be out on their own, and I thought about them and that they have no home, no family. Soon they will be out on their own. I want so desperately to give them a home, a family, a heritage in the Lord and give them the Love that the Lord intended for every child to feel and receive. I'm ready for what the Lord has for my family.....I'm ready to add to our family as many children as the Lord will bless us with....

Jarrod is on board, but we know it's not time yet. We feel God is preparing us spiritually and we know that He is going before us to open the doors that need to be opened. Thank you Jesus that you love us just this much to get it ready! We have talked with our children about orphans and that they have no mommy or daddy. We have talked with them about bringing some home to live with us so that they can be a part of our family, and they seemed excited! One night as we were talking, Noah said "mommy, we can even adopt someone with brown skin". See, my children don't see color, they think we are all made the same, and we are!! We see the heart and not the color! God knows the perfect child that needs to be with our family, and I can't wait to meet them!!

So there is a tad bit of my testimony and my heart as to why I want to adopt!! God has some big things planned for the Thorpe family and I can't wait! I already see Him moving in my family, and I'm beginning to see some fruits of my labor while I am home with my children. I'm not perfect, neither are they, but we have Jesus to forgive us and help us on our way!! Thank you for reading this and I hope it will bless you and encourage you to pray about adoption. I'm not sure that everyone is meant to adopt, but there are so many ways you can help others with adoption and of course you can pray! There are so many babies being aborted everyday and if we just show those moms that these sweet babies are wanted, then we can change their hearts!

I'm leaving you with a few pics from a recent trip we took to see some dear friends! We went to the beach and it was so wonderful!! Be blessed!!

You're Never Giving Up......Thank you Jesus!

Hello my friends!! I hope this finds you all doing well!! I have had so many things on my heart to share, but haven't!! Tonight as I am cleaning the kitchen and having worship the Lord stirred my heart so much! Forgive me if I seem to babble or seem a little out of it.....I am caught up in the Spirit right now!! I want to start off with prayer first for the one reading this, so here goes....

Father,
I thank you for your unfailing love and mercy. Thank you for your forgiveness and grace that you pour out on us each morning! I ask that you pour out many, many blessings over the one reading this, I pray for a refreshing in their spirit, that they will feel you in a deeper and more intimate way. Thank you that your word says that the joy of the Lord is our strength, so I pray that joy over my friend.....they will have new strength like no other by the joy that you bring them. I pray that no weapon that forms against them shall prosper, but they will have victory over their enemies. Speak to my friend as they lie down at night, give them a peaceful and restful night's sleep when they lay down, let them rest in Your arms trusting that You love them so much more than they could ever fully realize. Send them dreams and visions revealing your perfect plan for their life. I thank you for loving us so much that you sent your son. I praise you and love you. In Jesus name, Amen.

I want to start off with sharing the words to this new song that we have completely fallen in love with....it's part of why I feel so out of it right now. It's by Jonathan David Helser and it's called "You're Never Giving Up". The first time Jarrod played this song for me, I just teared up and wanted to fall over like a baby and cry. I cannot begin to even fathom His love for us, and that He never gives up on us. Okay, here I am tearing up again.....so here are the words!

-Your love, it never quits, it never stops chasing my soul, Before I was even in my mother's womb you knew me, you loved me. Even in my sin Lord, you wouldn't stop. Everytime I'd run away you'd come chasing me. Papa, you won't let go of me, even in my sin and even in my mess. I turned and started coming home after I'd wasted your inheritance, you jumped off the porch and with a ring and a robe, you came running for me. You never stopped, you just grabbed a hold of my soul, you said my son's come home, let's throw a party for him, he's home. He once was dead, he's alive; he once was blind, now he can see. My Father, what can I do to say thank you? to say I love you? I give you my heart, my soul, all that I am. You came running for me. You've never given up on me. Your love never fails, it never ends, you never stop chasing my soul. So I break open this bottle, I break open my heart and I pour it all on you Lord, I wanna waste my life on You, you are so worthy, you gave it all, I wanna give it all, every drop, my heart bleeds for you. Every tear that I weep, you come down and catch and say this is the one I love. I don't care what people in the room say, I only wanna please you to see you smile, to make you happy. I just want to spend the rest of my life loving  you. You don't stop loving me, I can't stop loving you.....and so it goes on.....-

This song is so beautiful and really speaks to my heart everytime I listen to it! I want to share now how this completely ministers to me.....

I haven't always had the best/easiest life, but I have a wonderful Father in heaven who has grown me from the past and my hurts, mistakes, and disappointment. I'm sure there are so many other emotions I could list, but will stop there! So many of my relationships have been based on my performance, and what I could do for that person. I have learned, though it was hard, that my parents and the ones raising me did the best they could with what they knew how to do. Things spoken over me, they didn't realize the death their words had. We are to speak words of life, and we ALL at times forget that. When I read the bible and the story of the prodigal son it just melts my heart when I think this is how God is with us. Even when I disobey, turn my back on Him, don't walk on the path He wants me on......He runs to me when I come home. He's constantly chasing my soul, yearning for me to be abiding in Him constantly......Wow.....He loves me without expecting anything in return, but He longs for that fellowship. There is no relationship based on expectation, or when I fail, He doesn't say "No way, been there done that, not doing it again". Instead He says " Welcome back my Beloved, I've missed you and I love you so much, let me share my heart with you". I pray that I can be this kind of parent to my children. I sometimes forget and I get disappointed with my children and don't want to be "nice" to them, but boy am I so wrong in this......Father, help me.

I just want to encourage you that no matter what is happening in your life, no matter what you have done, what has been done to you.......God wants all of you! He wants you to abide with Him in a daily/24/7 relationship. He wants all your hurts, pains, tears, love, worship, victories, brokeness, disobedience, everything, every emotion you could think possible.......He wants all of you! He will run to you with a ring and a robe and throw a party for you......it will be the best party you have ever been to when you rest in Him....I pray for you and that you will encounter God in a new way. He wants you back......He forgives you, He loves you, He's there with His arms wide open and ready to receive you.....Run to Him

I added a picture of a lighthouse. This particular one is from a beach trip we recently took. It sits in the middle of the water. I see you as a lighthouse surrounded by water. You may think this isn't good. Just picture the water as God's love surrounding you. You can't move any way without His love being wrapped around you. You are the light sitting in the middle of it, shining this love that He has for you over others!! Okay lighthouse, be encouraged!! I pray many blessings over you!!