Just the three of us!!

Saturday morning when we woke up, Jarrod and I decided to start our morning the way God intended for our morning to start......with prayer and worship. It set the mode for the day and it was a blessing! Prayer and worship changes the atmosphere!! Then we had a short devotional focusing on the verse "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it". We talked about how we have a choice each day whether to be in a good mood or not, to focus on the good, not the things that annoy us!!

This day ended up being a great one, filled with laughs, a nice dinner out, and our sweet Yulia getting a cute cute haircut!! Our favorite part was the devotional that evening. Jarrod was starting on the Romans road for the salvation message, that he will do in parts! He shared a little, then Yulia asked if she could share some of her favorite Bible verses from Psalm. We told her we would love to hear them! These verses ministered to me so much! She opened up to us in a new way, and it was such a blessing! She is such a blessing, more than I think she even realizes to us! It was a sweet time of talking and devotion!

Sunday morning, although running a bit late, we made it to Pastor Nicholi's church! It was a beautiful sermon, one that I needed to hear, one that Jarrod needed to hear, and really one that Yulia needed to hear......but Yulia wasn't in the service, she was helping prepare for after the service refreshments. I really do miss being home, at church where I can understand without an interpreter, but I have grown to love this little church! The Lord is there, blessing this ministry, and I've never quite seen a church operate they way they do. There is such a loving heart over that church, they serve, love, and accept, all without expecting anything in return. They just love the Lord and want to do His will. I'm going to miss them, and I pray that one day God will allow me the opportunity to come back and visit the church and this sweet family we have grown to love!

Sunday afternoon, we all passed out! It's been an emotion days prior to Sunday, and it had all caught up with us! As Jarrod, Yulia and I were all napping, Natasha was preparing to leave for a few days to visit a friend! We were excited for some alone time with Yulia, but nervous at the same time! Natasha gave us all the phone numbers, some special instructions, talked with Yulia about whatever, lol, and she was off!! Jarrod, Yulia and I all looked at each other like "what now"!!

We decided to walk to our pizza place "Pow Wow" and have dinner! We did great, had a little conversation over dinner, Yulia even ordered our food for us!! On the way back we stopped by to get some make-up and she did great paying there and helping us! When we left I jokingly said "Thank you daddy", and she repeated very playfully! We then survived the supermarket!! We were so excited that we had been able to function and communicate, making us realize that it's all going to be okay!!

That night, we had a chance at a potentially bad teenager moment, but God had His hands on us! We got frustrated at a situation, we just knew she would. But thank goodness for a translator app, that works sometimes, she explained lovingly what was going on, and even thanked us. Let me just say.......PROGRESS!!

Monday morning, we were at another situation that needed handling. Something we weren't quite sure how to handle, Jarrod and I disagreeing on how to handle, and just having to cling to God to know what to do. There could be major trust issues, betrayal issues, issues, issues, issues, if this wasn't handled the right way! But once again, God worked it out! This one wasn't quite as smooth as the other, but it was lovingly talked about "again through a crazy app", and we've moved forward. It wasn't a great start to the day, but it turned around!

That morning, Yulia had prepared breakfast for us! She cut up peaches and bananas, and arranged them really cute on a plate, then put condensed milk in the center and over them a bit!! Here, the kids love condensed milk, and it's actually not bad!! I wasn't really hungry, but she said "Please Amy, I made it", so what could a mom do?? It was good, and it meant so much to her that she had blessed us!!

I was able to prepare lunch, and I enjoyed cooking in our little kitchen! We had a nice meal, then I got a manicure!! Oh how I love being pampered, lol! After a little rest and talking, we decided to take off for a photo shoot with our girl! We wanted to take some pics of her, but she was so sweet, wanting us in the pictures too!! It was fun! We walked around a bit before heading back to the apartment!

That evening was just filled with laughing and having fun, just the three of us. We are growing and bonding in a new way, and I have such hope that God is going to bless our every step, as He already has!

We are not yet to the "mama and daddy" name calling with her! We know it will come with time, and not by us forcing her, but by lovingly being mama and daddy to her! There have been a couple of moments where she has told others that's what we are, but we just haven't been called that yet!! In God's perfect timing, He makes all things new!!

Please continue to pray for us! I'm leaving in a few short days, and it's a bittersweet thing! We are finally at this place of true bonding, and I will have to leave. Yet, I long for my Noah, Hannah, and Jonah like never before!! We'll all be together soon, and what a glorious day that will be! Not that life will be perfect, or even the normal we are used to, but God will show us how to operate and function in love and our new family!!

Here are a few pictures from our walk today! It was fun and there will be a few more on facebook!!

Also, please be in prayer, b/c we still need about $2500 more! We've come so far in our fundraising, even needing about $14000 only 2 weeks prior to leaving to come here! We know God will provide, but I have to admit, I have my moments of wondering how all this will work out!! God's hand is on us!! Be blessed my friends, and thanks for sharing in the excitement of our journey!!

You Won't Relent.......

Yesterday I was listening to this song "You Won't Relent" by Jesus Culture. Here are are the words.

"You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are One

I don't want to talk about You
Like You're not in the room
I want to look right at You
I want to sing right to You"

These words are so beautiful! I've heard this song a million times, we've sang it in church a number of times, but yesterday ministered to me in a new way!

The past couple of days, we have experienced some major warfare, and some not so easy trials! But God has remained faithful! In this journey, I am learning so much more about myself that I ever realized!

This song spoke to me about God's love for us, how He won't relent until He has it all! See, we are a work in progress, never reaching that full perfection that God created us for. We make steps and we grow, as we press more and more into Him. I often feel I have it together, that I'm making huge strides, then I'll think about all the things that I haven't given to God! Thank goodness there is no condemnation in Christ! He is like our cheerleader, not focusing on the mistakes, but cheering us on to move forward to the next goal!

One of the things I've realized is my conditional love, yes you heard me right CONDITIONAL love. I think all parents want to have unconditional love for their children. And most probably do. But yesterday, the Lord revealed that I haven't had such unconditional love. This was a hard pill to swallow, and it brought me to my knees in repentance. He loves us unconditionally, all the sin and pain I have caused Him, all the rejection I have made Him feel, all the disappointment, ungratefulness, selfishness, and lack of loving Him like I should........and He STILL loves me unconditionally. Wow.....forgive me Father. I want to love like the Father does, I want to be a mirror of Him!

I want to love past my hurts, my feelings of rejection, my offenses, my pride, my selfishness, my own comfort, and the list could go on and on! I want to be the person God created me to be, but I have to get past me in order to do that!

So, I'm thankful that He won't relent until He has it all! I'm thankful that through these few weeks away from my "normal" in Georgia, that He is speaking to my heart and growing me more into what He created me to be. I'm far from it, but thankful for my gracious and loving Father to help me take baby steps!

Be blessed my friends! I encourage you to pull up that song and listen, and ask the Father to reveal something new that you need to lay down to Him! He's such a good Daddy and loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die for you! I'm in awe of His unconditional love!

Beauty for Ashes......

There are so many things on my heart right now.....some very exciting and beautiful, and some very heavy, with me not knowing how to carry them! The beautiful thing is that I don't have to carry them, I have a Lord and Savior who died on the cross to carry my sins and my burdens!!

First off, I would like to announce that the judge said yes to Yulia Kathryn Thorpe being our daughter! It was a sweet time! We were prepared for everything, thank goodness for Natasha once again holding our hands!!

The court room was hot, windows open, sounds of construction going on outside! It was kind of funny sometimes b/c you couldn't hear much b/c of those sounds! After some questions from the judge and couple of others, after them asking Yulia some questions, they went out to make their decision! When they arrived back in the courtroom, the judge read the decree, and we were all so excited!

This is the moment we had waited for! Six months ago we started this journey, and it is complete! We do still have a waiting period of 10 days, then we can finish up all the paperwork, and reunite our family as a whole! We should all be together by mid-August!

Following court, we went and had a nice lunch, well late lunch and talked and laughed! It was a beautiful time together, then we all came back and rested! I don't think any of us got much sleep the night before, b/c we were all so excited!!



Now, onto some transparency and things the Lord is doing!!

As I've said before we realized when we answered God's call, it would be "spiritual warfare", we realized we were fighting for a life that the enemy thought he could have. We have been preparing, praying, taking each step one day at a time! I look back of some of the time preparing for this trip at how hard things were then, the attacks of the enemy. When I look back at them, I kind of laugh to myself, b/c they were nothing compared to the battle that's raging now!

As we are walking this out, I'm realizing just how much I need to take Amy out of the equation, as my friend Bill would say! I have been hurt, rejected, offended, and at other times loved. I have struggled with wanting to react in my flesh, and at times have. But my prayer is that I will react with love, that I will not act according to my feelings. I want God to get the glory from this entire adoption process, including in my responses to things!

I realize how deep the hurt goes for our sweet girl. Well, maybe I don't even realize that just yet. But I know there is hurt and rejection that she has felt. I know that in her 14 years of life, that she hasn't had anyone really care for her or be there for her. This is all foreign to her, almost as foreign as we are to her. We want nothing but to lavish love on her, but at times, I'm not so sure she knows how to receive it. She understands saying it and hearing it, she understands the hugs, but that's about the depth of what she understands. She doesn't know how to be loved, to be shown love through actions. She doesn't know how to respond to this.

I love to love, lol! I love to show others how much I love them. This is hard for me, to express my love in actions to her. But I know this obstacle will be overcome and it will all be okay, and it will all be worth it!

In this journey, we knew that we would be "fired upon" so to say from the enemy. He wasn't just going to roll over and take it, he was going to fight full force! I'm thankful that God has given us a supportive prayer team back home! The Bible clearly says that "no weapon formed against me shall prosper". He didn't say there would be no weapons!!

We've had an area in our life attacked that we thought was "safe", completely unprepared for it and not quite sure how to make it all out! The Holy Spirit quickly brought it to life, and we were able to stop that weapon before permanent damage was done! The enemy wasn't very happy about this, so the next day we were attacked in another area.

We are still working on this weapon that has been formed, and we KNOW that it will not prosper. We know that all we have to do is speak the name of Jesus and the enemy will flee. We know that the name of Jesus is probably the only word that needs to come out of our mouths for the next few weeks while we are here! We know that the enemy is mad and won't give in quickly or easily!

So, do I think we are fully prepared? Maybe not as prepared as we should have been, but God is graceful and merciful and is holding our hand! Some things we had been prepared for and told about, but not fully realizing the magnitude of all that was going to take place!

God is molding us and shaping us. He is teaching us a new level of love. He is moving us into places that I never even imagined I could go! As a friend said, "There must be some kind of calling on you all and on that girl that makes the enemy's kingdom shutter. Remember what you are fighting for!" I will remember what we are fighting for, and I will not give up.

My friend Lori also shared this with me.......2 Corinthians 5:18-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the MNISTRY OF RECONCILIATION; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling[a] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

This so ministered to my heart!! I believe that God is going to turn all these ashes into beauty! I already see some turning, but there are more, so many more that He is currently working on! I know He goes before us to prepare the way.....even when we don't even realize He's working on my behalf!

I pray that through all this I will be able to bring Him glory! I pray that others will see that through the trials and triumphs in this journey, that God is to be praised. We are honored to this calling, and we see no other way than to be obedient. He never never said it would be easy, but He promised to never leave us. We will come out of the valley with our hands raised high to worship and praise His name!

Be blessed my friends!

It's been 3 weeks!!

I started having this blog on my heart last night, writing it over and over in my head! I love to share things about our journey, and I hope and pray it will be encouraging to others!! Along with some of the good days, comes the not so pleasant days......but this is life, right??

I have a few friends that have told me how strong they think I am. They say they couldn't do this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........let me just say, I must have them all fooled! I am nothing but a body of weakness. I submit to my Father in heaven, and through it Him and I can get through anything! I'm no stronger than anyone else! I often try to fix things myself, and that's when I realize how weak I really am. I can't do this alone, and that seems to be my cry lately!

See, I have this really bad habit.......I'm not sure habit is the right word, but it's all that comes to mind! See, when someone hurts me, I clam up. I shut down, don't want to allow anyone in. Unfortunately, it not only affects the one that has hurt me, but it overflows onto everyone. It causes others hurt, mainly myself! When we hold on to those hurts, it turns in to resentment, bitterness, and many other things that are NOT of the Lord. The Father is slowly helping me "mature" so to say and I'm beginning to recognize these things sooner, thus being able to deal with them! It's not easy you know, lol!! Sometimes I feel so in control and feel like I have things somewhat together, then "BAM", I just fell again!

God is so good to reveal our hearts. Now this isn't always a good thing, and it hurts in a way that really has no words! When God grows us and stretches us, we have to begin dying to self. I love the thought of more of God in me, and less of me. But when it comes to it actually happening, it's not so pleasant!! But in the end, God will perfect the work that He has begun in me!

We are having a great time here in Ukraine. Along with the great time, we have the other "non-great" times. I'll be honest, and I know I've said this many times......"This is the hardest thing I've ever done"! I have moments where I just want to run out of the door and jump on the next flight home! Now, if you've been in my shoes, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about. If you haven't been in them, please don't judge me! I wouldn't change anything that we are doing here, it's just a million times harder than what I could have ever imagined!

We knew we were fighting a spiritual battle when we said "Yes" that we will obey James 1:27. We knew things would get hard, and we knew things would get uncomfortable. What I had no clue was the ammunition the enemy would use to throw at me. Things/places I thought I was "safe" in have been attacked. But the good thing.......there is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain. The enemy will not have victory, He will not succeed. God has given me power over the devil. So we are in full force battle, and would appreciate your prayers!

The past few days have been kinda slow, but good! Saturday we went shopping for Yulia a dress for court and for church! After that we just came back to the apartment. Nothing too exciting! We did get to skype with mom and the kids! It's so great to see them and how well they are doing! I miss them all so much, and can't believe it's already been 3 weeks that I've been gone!

Sunday we went to Pastor Nicholi's church! It was a beautiful sermon, that really pricked my heart.......on Ephesians and operating as one body! Oh how God's timing is perfect! After church we stayed for lunch and some sweet conversation!! I have grown to love this sweet family that leads this village in God's word and truth! I'm going to miss them when we go back home!

On Monday we decided to go out to eat for lunch! We tried a new place, which we will NEVER go to again! We tried to order "American" style food, and were thoroughly disappointed! I'm not a person that wastes much, but I left over half my food! After that, we decided to go bowling. Jarrod, Natasha and I had fun.....Yulia not so much! She doesn't like loosing too well.....that'll come with time!! I'm determined, we will go bowling again before leaving here, and her see that we can have fun without winning!

Last night everyone was off in the own little worlds, or at least I was in my own world, tucked away in my room......talking with friends, crying, laughing, processing all that God is doing in me right now. Not understanding much of it, and grasping at straws to try and figure things out! The beautiful thing is that I don't have to figure it out, all I have to do is trust God! He's got this, He's got me and my family covered. I don't know how the final picture will look, but I know this.....He will finish what He has begun! When it was getting late, we had some fun family moments.....laughing at old pictures, talking about random things, laughing b/c Yulia was communicating without Natasha, and we were actually understanding things!

Yulia is slowly opening up, although it hasn't been to me (b/c of the language barrier), she at least is! I know God is working in her heart too, and I know that one day her and I will be able to have those heart to heart conversations!

Like I said before, this is harder than I ever imagined in so many ways!! I'm so thankful to have friends to help me cope with all this! They are all great! And I'm thankful that others have gone before me and can help me to realize that I am "normal" in all the emotions that go along with this beautiful adoption journey! Some of the things I am going through are things I was told to be prepared for. You just don't realize what that exactly means, until you are here!!

Thank you for sharing with us in this beautiful journey! We covet your prayers for our family! Court is this week, and we have about 4 weeks left here in Ukraine! I'll be home a bit sooner, but we aren't sure the exact date yet!! Be blessed my friends!!

Okay, so I just realized there are no new pictures uploaded from the camera.....sorry :( I just added older ones from before!!

Fun Days!!

Good morning friends! I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've blogged!! I don't really have a ton to blog about, we are just enjoying those sweet little moments of bonding and growing as a family!!

Tuesday we spent doing some more paperwork and running around! That evening went walking with Yulia and took some pictures! She's so photogenic and beautiful!! Along with that beauty comes a respect for us! She's quite the silly girl, fitting in very much with our family, yet she has those moments of very being very serious!!

Wednesday was pretty much a lazy day around the house, filled with mostly media! I know, don't fuss at me, lol!! We had been running so much, it was kind of nice to have a chill out day! At home we don't stay busy and entertained all the time, so we thought this would be a good thing! Only difference is, at home we will have more things to do, other than tv or computer time! We realized that we do have a typical teenager, yet at other times she is so childlike!! I love it, and we are learning to cope with all different moods, lol! I'm not sure if cope is the right word, but we are slowly figuring it out!

I'm having to learn how to parent this sweet and smart teenager! I'm used to taking care of younger children, and I know how to meet their needs, this is like a whole different world for me!! Thank goodness for God's grace and mercy to grow us during this season! I've had my moments of "what are we doing", b/c I don't know what to do. But those moments are very quickly erased by her sweet presence! And of course, we wouldn't be where we are without Natasha to help us!!

Jarrod and Yulia have been bonding so well! They have so much in common, and it's sweet to see the daddy/daughter relationship grow! This was kind of hard at first to see, b/c I wasn't sure how I needed to fit in and bond! But God heard my prayers, and He began to grow Yulia's heart and mine together! She needs a mama and daddy, and I think we are slowly, very slowly becoming that to her. The trust and love each day grows. It's hard to explain exactly how this is happening, but I know it's God!! Right now in her heart we are Jarrod and Amy, and we know that God will keep working on her heart to become mom and dad! We refer to ourselves as Mama Amy and Papa Jarrod, and aren't pushing it. She is a very smart and independent girl, and we don't want to force anything on her! In time, God's perfect timing, we will be her parents to her!!

We are having so much fun with her right now, even doing the fun childlike things with her, like blowing bubbles in drinks (sssshhh, please don't tell my little children, lol), tickling each other, hiding to scare one another, etc, etc, etc! We are developing that friendship with her, which is good! I pray that as we grow in the friendship, that God will slowly start to grow that authority figure in both us and her! Now don't get me wrong, she respects us fully! We do want to be her friend, but more importantly we want to be her parents. The ones she can trust to come to with anything, without worrying about being judged or rejected. In fact, during evening devotionals the other night, we told her this! We tell her over and over that we love her!! We want to affirm her, and her to realize her worth and beauty to God, and to us!!

On Thursday, we made a quick visit to the orphanage, so she could give a couple of gifts to her supervisors, and send a gift to the camp to her friend! When we arrived, we were able to see sweet Zhenya, who is still looking for his forever family! It breaks my heart to think of any children not in a family. When you know them and have spent time with them, it makes it even harder. We were able to play some thumb war with him, and look at pics for a little bit, before heading back out!

When we got back to the city, we decided to go watch a movie, Ice Age 4 in 3D! It was rather amusing to be sitting there, understanding nothing that was being said on the screen, it was all in Ukrainian!! It was fun, and I enjoyed watching our sweet girl laugh and enjoy herself! There were times in the movie that we just knew what was happening, so we really enjoyed ourselves!! We went out to dinner after that, then back to the apartment for the evening! It was a very nice day!!

Friday we decided we were going back to the island to go hiking! We didn't leave until later than we planned b/c of some sleepy heads, ahem Jarrod and Yulia!! After grabbing a bite at McDonald's, we headed that way! We first went through the Cossacks fortress, which was so beautiful. We went by the chapel, where there was an active service going on. It was unlike anything I have been to. There was a priest, and it was a Russian Orthodox church. Natasha helped me to put on a scarf over my head, and we stood there in reverence as the priest read and sang the scriptures. It was a beautiful moment, and something I'll never forget! I felt a bit awkward at first, I'm very much the outsider here, but after I settled for a moment, I was able to take in God's beauty and feel His presence!

After going through the fortress, we headed down to the river! We've been warned about the river, how it can make you glow, lol! But our girl wanted to swim! When we got to the water, Yulia and Natasha were in first! Jarrod slowly just putting his feet in! After Yulia told me she saw a snake a few yards away, I decided I would just take pics, no swimming for me! After some sweet persuasion that I couldn't refuse, I got in!! We had fun splashing and playing, and growing even more close!! After playing for a bit, we got out to try to dry off some, no extra clothes for Jarrod or I, arg!! While watching the water, we kept seeing snakes, very very close to where we were swimming. Oh my, it was so cool to watch them swim in the water, pulling their heads up above the water, yet at the same time it was unbelievable about how close we actually were to them. I don't think I'll be swimming in the river again!

We came back to the apartment, played cards, had dinner, watched a cheerleader movie, lol! It has been a wonderful few days! Lots of little moments that have just confirmed over and over again that God is moving and doing some great things! Our evening devotionals have been sweet, and I pray that God is speaking to her heart during them!

Thank you for your prayers and please continue them coming!! We still have some time here to grow more, and we love to see how God will work all this out!! We also still need about $2500 to complete everything, and most importantly to bring us home!! Please continue to pray that God will provide those funds in His perfect timing!! Be blessed my friends!!